It’s Personal

“Indeed, every good and perfect thing that has ever come into our lives has come as a gift to us from God Himself. It did not bubble up like crude oil from this earth. It flowed down like rain from the riverbanks of Heaven. It was intentional. It was personal. Yet we see ourselves at the mercy of random events, abilities, and coincidences.”-Beth Moore

It is way too easy to lose focus.  Wars around the world, the news with so many things to tear your security away from you. Health issues.  Yet, we have this…

Our Almighty God, King of kings, Supreme and Sovereign yet Loving and Compassionate. Creator of the universe, including us. Every thing strategically placed in His plan, blessings and cursings. He doesn’t need us, He wants us.  He sings over us and keeps watch while we sleep, everything to bring us closer to Him. His glory will shine, with or without us, but what an honor to shine His glory.  He has done everything to give us a way to be with Him.

The last six months have been difficult with my health.  Changing medicine, trying to understand what is going on with my body, trying not to be angry and bitter.  This week, while surrending to “this must be what you have for me”, He showed me something miraculous!  My doctors did not share with me the danger of being removed from one medication to another.  My Pharmacist put something in my bag, that was just the dangers of leaving that medication, honestly I felt most of those side effects that should have been treated. In my ignorance of all of this, I just rode it out. Some nights I just prayed to sustain me.  I am past the six months of danger, still weak, still having issues with the heat and humidity. This will take a year, but I have not used anything other than my allergy-asthma medication.

I felt the hug from Him, the reassurance that He has been giving me everything I need to live, the love of a Father (who truly can fix anything).

This is personal, He can do anything, He acts on our behalf without asking for the things we need, He already knows and is already doing it.

He is still in control, nothing that is going on in the world or our communities is shocking Him. Focus on Him, and the greatest gift of all, His never ending love. Loving us so much as to make that bridge (Jesus) so we would not be apart from Him.  Beautiful.

Safe Walls?

My heart is heavy with the word “safe”.  I have been hearing it more often, seems we all just want to be safe.  We seem to have our reasons for that. Are we tearing down one wall, just to build another?

God is not safe, He’s good.  So do we trust Him that He has everything under control, or do we continue to take the safer road?  Americans are most guilty of this.  Outreach in the community is God’s work.  Are we really to tell Him, we choose to use a social services so that we can help people who are safe by our standards?  Do we really tell worship leaders how to plan according to what we think is most productive to a heart? Or do we believe that God is still the only one saving a heart?

Worship leaders are praying about what God wants in their services, God still knows best.

My life was filled with abuse, so yes I do know what I am talking about.  I just don’t choose to label myself as such. Why? Because God has freed me, my past no longer defines me.  Was there some magic, or certain worship, maybe a special book that brought me to this place? NO! It was God, and spending time with Him, asking Him all the tough questions, letting Him walk me through each day, teaching me to make different choices, Loving me through my pain.

I had to learn to forgive, I had no idea how easy it was, that choosing God’s way would be all I needed.  The burden lifted the second I choose to truly give it to God, and allow Him to handle things.  Submission to Him was nothing like the world had taught me.  It was more like laying back in the arms of the one who truly loved me. It was not a bitter hard thing to swallow.

The world labels everything.  But they have not been introduced correctly to us.  We are God’s children, beloved, free, Kingdom living and not at all elite.

Is following God safe by the worlds standards? No…but we are not of the world.  Where is our sense of adventure? desire? it may be caught up in a trust issue…Believe God that He is capable of anything this world may throw at us…HE got this! safe no..good yes

Lets’s not tear down one wall to build another…we just need to believe God and not just believe there is an God.

ahhhhh the safe place

God,

you are our refuge,

our strong tower,

our mighty fortress.

We wander off

chasing all that glitters.

Then we speak as if profoundly

“looking for a safe place to land”.

The world has no true safe places.

Everyone has an agenda of sorts.

You are our safe place to land.

Remind us constantly to remain in you.

your princess, who lives in your stronghold (and so glad to be home)

My King, my healer…

Isaiah 57: 18,19(NLT)

18 I have seen what they do,
but I will heal them anyway!
I will lead them.
I will comfort those who mourn,

19 bringing words of praise to their lips.
May they have abundant peace, both near and far,”
says the Lord, who heals them.

 

So many questions, so many things on my mind, so many condemnations plaguing me.   God knows every single thing I’ve ever done, including the thoughts that were less than pleasing to Him. Standing in Awe of how HE works and leads me to exactly what I need to come to closer to Him. That has been my prayer, as well as the reason for my silence on FB/twitter.

HE brought me back to a study HE prompted me to dig into…still stuck and wondering and praying…”I know you want me to know this, I just can’t pull it together”.  Just the next day, I came across a study I worked through about 6 years ago. The title resonated with me, “Father, revive my heart…” So started working on that again…writing out my answers fresh and dating them, so i could see a difference in me from the time that past.  HE showed me how much I have grown through the years, and how much pride HE has already taken away from me (still a ways to go tho).

My original study, writing my own study, on the “Holy Spirit”. The second page of “revive my heart” .. “Holy Spirit”…Church today..”we are starting a new study “Holy Spirit”.   I absolutely love where He has led me to, and the way works to bring me closer…

HE knows what i did, and HE is going to heal me anyway! HE is going to lead me, and put HIS praise on my lips..I think I know how the woman at the well felt.

Resting tonight in His love for me, Knowing that healing is very close, believing that knowing HIM in God the Spirit is my missing link to pulling this faith walk together.  Last weekend, I heard HIM say “no FB”, I had to be obedient. This week, has been overwhelming in revelations, and causing me to rejoice and tremble at the same time.  My Holy, Supreme God is once again directing my steps…oh how HE loves..

 

Prodigal Princess

The Princess spent her days walking in the glorious sunshine. Such joy! such a blessed life! She fell asleep without warning…she didn’t know how long she slept, but when awakening…such darkness!  Ahhhhh Where was her King? Her Daddy that she loves..who loves her as well. She sets out to look for Him. She can’t find Him.  How could this happen? Her sadness grew, her desperation more intense.  Life is not good without her King..He showers her with the love and hope that makes her world turn….

Princess:  (remembering that He can always hear her, and see her even when she cannot)  My Lord! why have you left me here? I can not do this with out you…Please come and rescue me…Please do not leave me in the darkness…There is no darkness in you.

King: (speaking ever so quietly, ever so gently) I promised to never leave you, and I have kept my promise.  But I will not force you to stay by my side where the light shines on your face and warms your heart. The world entices, and you must stay in my Word as it feeds your soul and keeps you from hungering for things that are not me.

Princess:  I remember how we danced, i remember how much love filled my heart…oh how i adored you! still not sure how the world can pull me away from the only One who really matters. Please. Please fill my heart again with the hunger I need to pursue you. I am lost, I thought I could handle some things on my own. Now the darkness is suffocating. I can not save my self. Forgive, according to your loving kindness, because I belong to you. Restore. There is no life away from you.

King: (extending His hand into the darkness) Princess, take hold and never let go.  The darkness will always be close while you walk this earth, but I am your safe place, no one else or nothing else can fill that void. Come to me. I will restore, Read my Words to you daily, keep me first in your thoughts, Know with all your heart that my love for you moves heaven and earth, Nothing can seperate you from me. The darkness lies to you, and you must put up your shield of faith, believe…

Princess: How could i just walk away from you? What kind of child leaves the most perfect Father without thinking about it? How or Why would you want to help me now?…nothing makes sense..

King: (cleaning her up, wiping her tears, dressing her in His love) I will brush you off, and you will take my hand, and we will continue on this journey..I have so much I want to show you, so many things that will delight your heart. Oh the plans I have! and when we rest…I will sing over you, watch over you as you sleep.

(looking over His shoulder speaking firmly to the darkness now far behind) This is my Princess..you can not have her…and I will protect her, and keep her close…I delight in her…

Trading the World 4 His Presence

The battle is lost or won in the secret places of the will before God, never first in the external world.  The Spirit of God apprehends me and I am obliged to get alone with God and fight the battle out before Him. Until this is done, I lose every time. The battle may take one minute or a year, that will depend on me, not on God, and i must resolutely go through the hell of a renunciation before God. Nothing has any power over the man who has fought out the battle before God and won there. If I say, I will wait til I get into the circumstances and the put God to the test, I shall find that I cannot.  I must get the thing settled between myself and God in the secret places of my soul where no stranger inter-meddles, and then I can go forth with the certainty that the battle is won…Get alone with God, fight it out before Him, settle the matter there once and for all…Every now and again, not often, God brings us to a point of climax. That is the Great Divide in the life; from that point on we either go towards more and more dilatory and useless type of Christian life, or we become more and more ablaze for the glory of God–My Utmost for His Highest.  ~Oswald Chambers

My past has been settled once and for all before the throne of God.  This has happened a while back, and I needed this quote to remind me. In my humanness, I tend to get led away by well meaning people, and start to wander of from my first true love.  I made Him a promise long ago, when HE set me free from the bondage that seemed like normal living to me.  HE put my feet on a solid foundation, and a song in my heart, praise on my lips, and HE taught me to dance with HIM.  And in return, I promised Him to stay close to HIS word, and to come to Him first, to not let any thing come from my mouth that was not pleasing to Him.  Sounds like I set myself up for a fall.  But it is do-able when I am following closely to Him.

My desire and my prayer is…that I will glorify God in all that I say and do. When HE calls “who will I send”, my answer will be “Lord, send me”.  I want to use my gifts that HE has given to me, for His glory and not mine.  Each and every gift that HE has set aside for me, I want to use for Him. I want all that HE has to give me!

My GOD, and My King, Lover of my soul, my secret Keeper…no one has ever loved me like you do, and no one ever will…there is none beside You.  I stand in Awe .  So many times I try to fit into a category of people..not fitting into the conservative or the Liberal, but always finding my perfect fit, and total peace in the quiet place with You.  You have freed me from my past, and we have fought the thing through on several levels, and I am more than a conqueror in your eyes.  Pleasing you is far better than man, fitting in is not important.  What is important is to stay focused and Kingdom minded.  Thank you for reminding me, that I find my worth in You. I am priceless in  your eyes, and you died for me.   No compromise on the road to You, no looking left or right, only where you lead.   The joy that is found in You is overflowing and my desires are quenched in You.  I choose to stay right here, in Your shadow, controlling my tongue, guarding my eyes as they have passage to my heart, keeping my heart open to You.  Thank You for your great patience, and thanks for the short leash that rips my heart out when I have started to take the smallest of steps from your side.  I don’t want that to ever change.  You are enough for me! Trading the world for your presence. Your princess who wants her Utmost for Your Highest!