Hearts in Chains

Ten years ago, God woke me up at 3 in the morning, and spoke to my heart very clearly.  He said “my bride is in bondage, she is asleep in it, wake her up, she must get ready. Believe me”  I know now that I did not fully understand.  I assumed it was about me. Bondage seemed to be my middle name.  I believed that the past some how molded me, and destroyed my future.  So living was more of doing with what I have.  

A few months later, I received a free ticket for a Beth Moore conference “Hearts set free”.  I didn’t know who she was, but I like free! and I knew in my heart, my own bondage needed to be resolved so that I could get ready and be wakened up.  She came on the stage, the very first words out of her mouth “God’s bride is in bondage, she is asleep and must wake up, she needs to get ready! Oh dear ones, God wants you to believe HIM.”   She now had my undivided attention! 

Over the years, I have learned to believe Him more, but there is always more to believe Him for.  Trust is an issue.  Abuse has taken a toll on many hearts, not just mine.  Knowing Him, is to believe Him.  He is believable! After studying through the Old Testament, God is trustworthy, 100% Truth, focused on his plan, and no one can defer Him.  Our actions do not change His thinking or His work.  

After we went through some things as a family, I seemed to have forgotten to just simply believe God.  I am doing this again.  My heart is reaching out to the abused, and asking “please believe Him”.  Forgiveness is not a feeling its a choice.  Choose it, even if you need to do it several times a day, God is strong enough to make it a heart thing for you, through your obedience to forgive.  It doesn’t have to be a one on one with the abuser, it just needs to be between you and God.  This will free your heart.  

Don’t you want to feel peace again? Or maybe feel peace for the first time?  Lay it all at the feet of God, He wants so much more for you than the life you live, HE wants your heart to be free.  He wants to take the bad and make it good.  He did not create you for the life you had, or chains that wrap your heart.  The church can not fix this for you, only God can fix His own creation.  

You are beautiful to Him, He rejoices that you are even thinking about Him.  Don’t wait…Go to Him now..He’s patiently waiting for you…Believe Him.

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Surrender…

In the end of December/Beginning of January, a blogger wrote a post about One Word that was on your heart, for the new year, not a resolution just a word. Every year end I pray for God to give me something that will help me into and thru the new year.  Sometimes its been verses i  needed to commit to memory, that at some point in the year, i ended up leaning on with all being.  Yeah, HE does that when we ask.

But this year He gave me a word.  SURRENDER.  Ahhhhh the longer i thought on it, the more mixed my thoughts became.  I know that my heart is surrendered to HIM as my King, my Creator, and LORD.  But it seemed to mean something else…so casually i put it aside.  

As every other year, the year moves on, and soon I am faced with exactly why I need that one thing God has given me.

I learned a long time ago that people fail me, and all my decisions/choices are mine.  But God never fails me.

I have been going thru lots of ups and downs, with changes in my life that just had to change.  Health issues with family.  With each and every heart ache, disappointment, or discouragement, HE stood before me reminding me to SURRENDER these things to HIM.  Its not about how well i can take care of me or the ones i love.  We all belong to HIM, and HE is doing things we just don’t always understand.  

SURRENDER…getting my hands off it, laying down at HIS feet, and leaving it there with HIM..SURRENDER…A lesson I am sure i will continue to learn.  Things are going well in our lives, and some rough spots are still in front of us, but breathing easy is due to SURRENDER…

My King, my healer…

Isaiah 57: 18,19(NLT)

18 I have seen what they do,
but I will heal them anyway!
I will lead them.
I will comfort those who mourn,

19 bringing words of praise to their lips.
May they have abundant peace, both near and far,”
says the Lord, who heals them.

 

So many questions, so many things on my mind, so many condemnations plaguing me.   God knows every single thing I’ve ever done, including the thoughts that were less than pleasing to Him. Standing in Awe of how HE works and leads me to exactly what I need to come to closer to Him. That has been my prayer, as well as the reason for my silence on FB/twitter.

HE brought me back to a study HE prompted me to dig into…still stuck and wondering and praying…”I know you want me to know this, I just can’t pull it together”.  Just the next day, I came across a study I worked through about 6 years ago. The title resonated with me, “Father, revive my heart…” So started working on that again…writing out my answers fresh and dating them, so i could see a difference in me from the time that past.  HE showed me how much I have grown through the years, and how much pride HE has already taken away from me (still a ways to go tho).

My original study, writing my own study, on the “Holy Spirit”. The second page of “revive my heart” .. “Holy Spirit”…Church today..”we are starting a new study “Holy Spirit”.   I absolutely love where He has led me to, and the way works to bring me closer…

HE knows what i did, and HE is going to heal me anyway! HE is going to lead me, and put HIS praise on my lips..I think I know how the woman at the well felt.

Resting tonight in His love for me, Knowing that healing is very close, believing that knowing HIM in God the Spirit is my missing link to pulling this faith walk together.  Last weekend, I heard HIM say “no FB”, I had to be obedient. This week, has been overwhelming in revelations, and causing me to rejoice and tremble at the same time.  My Holy, Supreme God is once again directing my steps…oh how HE loves..

 

Culturally Disobedient

I see this car everyday, driven by a school administrator, causing some grief for a few bus drivers who have to make that turn…Culturally Disobedient…its okay…until someone hits it…

As My King and I walk through how I end up in the place more often than I like to admit, Realizing today how Culturally Disobedient we are as Americans. If we don’t want to…and if we think we can get away with it…and it doesn’t seem to hurt anyone…We do what we want. No regard for whoever decided to place that rule in place.  No second thought that there may be a very good reason for that ruling.

Thinking of Moses and the Ten Commandments…Was God just being a heavy handed, pushy bossy God, who just wanted to lay out some commands for us for no other reason than HE can!  I think not.  He was trying to save us from our repercussions that surely follow those broken commands.  Imagine the world without Aids, without damaged hearts who survived while a loved one was murdered, the reoccurring nightmares of an accident that could have been prevented if both parties were following the rules, The jealousy that sparks anger-the scars that just could have been prevented…We can’t blame HIM for our messed up world.  We break these rules so often, and others break them just to break them….We live in a culture of disobedience.  Alot of this rolls off us without a second thought.  Our Politicians lie and mislead us (all of them..not right or left..all), to benefit thier own agenda.  We are generally okay with that as long as its the one we picked..

Striving today to be more obedient to God, and what HIS word has laid out for me.  God is not American, HE is not a politician, HE is perfect, Holy, Supreme, all knowing.  He doesn’t say “well thats not a really a big deal”…..The slightest disobedience creates a wedge between my self and HIS stronghold of saftey, and after time creates an illusion of “i can do what i want, i am saved by grace”. That is not what it says…

Romans 6:1-6(NLT)

1 Well then, should we keep on sinning so that God can show us more and more of his wonderful grace?2 Of course not! Since we have died to sin, how can we continue to live in it?3 Or have you forgotten that when we were joined with Christ Jesus in baptism, we joined him in his death?4 For we died and were buried with Christ by baptism. And just as Christ was raised from the dead by the glorious power of the Father, now we also may live new lives.
5 Since we have been united with him in his death, we will also be raised to life as he was.6 We know that our old sinful selves were crucified with Christ so that sin might lose its power in our lives. We are no longer slaves to sin.

Abundant Grace- Day 2 Sacrifice

Ahhhhh! did this one hit a few nerves for you? It certainly hit a few with me.

(Genesis 22:1-18 )  When I read this, the questions started to roll around.  I know God has called me out many times to lay my “Isaac” down on HIS altar, and surrender that person/things to HIM. At times it felt like HE was ripping my heart out, and thru the tears, I realized there was no other choice.  Abraham knew and believed that he would walk away from that mountain with his son…even if it meant God would raise him from the dead! I have often wondered why this “test”? what was it Abram was to learn, it seemed like he already had it all figured out?  And surely, God being all knowing, already knew that Abram would choose obedience..so why?

Job 1:6-12 show a different testing..but is definitely called out as testing.  Without going to far off track, the reason for the testing was due to the unseen heavenlies, the enemy/accuser/Satan..

I just want to add that we are unaware of the war in the heavenlies, when we have been accused.  I do know that God will not allow the enemy to have his way without God turning it out for the good.  So altho this is just a theory….I have learned from this story, multiple times.

Obedience, trust, surrendering the most dear thing to my heart, learning that HIS sovereignty is something to be acknowledge!

I have always admired Abram for his faith…

What does this reading stir in you? It has certainly stirred my heart and thinking…

Trading the World 4 His Presence

The battle is lost or won in the secret places of the will before God, never first in the external world.  The Spirit of God apprehends me and I am obliged to get alone with God and fight the battle out before Him. Until this is done, I lose every time. The battle may take one minute or a year, that will depend on me, not on God, and i must resolutely go through the hell of a renunciation before God. Nothing has any power over the man who has fought out the battle before God and won there. If I say, I will wait til I get into the circumstances and the put God to the test, I shall find that I cannot.  I must get the thing settled between myself and God in the secret places of my soul where no stranger inter-meddles, and then I can go forth with the certainty that the battle is won…Get alone with God, fight it out before Him, settle the matter there once and for all…Every now and again, not often, God brings us to a point of climax. That is the Great Divide in the life; from that point on we either go towards more and more dilatory and useless type of Christian life, or we become more and more ablaze for the glory of God–My Utmost for His Highest.  ~Oswald Chambers

My past has been settled once and for all before the throne of God.  This has happened a while back, and I needed this quote to remind me. In my humanness, I tend to get led away by well meaning people, and start to wander of from my first true love.  I made Him a promise long ago, when HE set me free from the bondage that seemed like normal living to me.  HE put my feet on a solid foundation, and a song in my heart, praise on my lips, and HE taught me to dance with HIM.  And in return, I promised Him to stay close to HIS word, and to come to Him first, to not let any thing come from my mouth that was not pleasing to Him.  Sounds like I set myself up for a fall.  But it is do-able when I am following closely to Him.

My desire and my prayer is…that I will glorify God in all that I say and do. When HE calls “who will I send”, my answer will be “Lord, send me”.  I want to use my gifts that HE has given to me, for His glory and not mine.  Each and every gift that HE has set aside for me, I want to use for Him. I want all that HE has to give me!

My GOD, and My King, Lover of my soul, my secret Keeper…no one has ever loved me like you do, and no one ever will…there is none beside You.  I stand in Awe .  So many times I try to fit into a category of people..not fitting into the conservative or the Liberal, but always finding my perfect fit, and total peace in the quiet place with You.  You have freed me from my past, and we have fought the thing through on several levels, and I am more than a conqueror in your eyes.  Pleasing you is far better than man, fitting in is not important.  What is important is to stay focused and Kingdom minded.  Thank you for reminding me, that I find my worth in You. I am priceless in  your eyes, and you died for me.   No compromise on the road to You, no looking left or right, only where you lead.   The joy that is found in You is overflowing and my desires are quenched in You.  I choose to stay right here, in Your shadow, controlling my tongue, guarding my eyes as they have passage to my heart, keeping my heart open to You.  Thank You for your great patience, and thanks for the short leash that rips my heart out when I have started to take the smallest of steps from your side.  I don’t want that to ever change.  You are enough for me! Trading the world for your presence. Your princess who wants her Utmost for Your Highest!