Category Archives: forgive
Ten years ago, God woke me up at 3 in the morning, and spoke to my heart very clearly. He said “my bride is in bondage, she is asleep in it, wake her up, she must get ready. Believe me” I know now that I did not fully understand. I assumed it was about me. Bondage seemed to be my middle name. I believed that the past some how molded me, and destroyed my future. So living was more of doing with what I have.
A few months later, I received a free ticket for a Beth Moore conference “Hearts set free”. I didn’t know who she was, but I like free! and I knew in my heart, my own bondage needed to be resolved so that I could get ready and be wakened up. She came on the stage, the very first words out of her mouth “God’s bride is in bondage, she is asleep and must wake up, she needs to get ready! Oh dear ones, God wants you to believe HIM.” She now had my undivided attention!
Over the years, I have learned to believe Him more, but there is always more to believe Him for. Trust is an issue. Abuse has taken a toll on many hearts, not just mine. Knowing Him, is to believe Him. He is believable! After studying through the Old Testament, God is trustworthy, 100% Truth, focused on his plan, and no one can defer Him. Our actions do not change His thinking or His work.
After we went through some things as a family, I seemed to have forgotten to just simply believe God. I am doing this again. My heart is reaching out to the abused, and asking “please believe Him”. Forgiveness is not a feeling its a choice. Choose it, even if you need to do it several times a day, God is strong enough to make it a heart thing for you, through your obedience to forgive. It doesn’t have to be a one on one with the abuser, it just needs to be between you and God. This will free your heart.
Don’t you want to feel peace again? Or maybe feel peace for the first time? Lay it all at the feet of God, He wants so much more for you than the life you live, HE wants your heart to be free. He wants to take the bad and make it good. He did not create you for the life you had, or chains that wrap your heart. The church can not fix this for you, only God can fix His own creation.
You are beautiful to Him, He rejoices that you are even thinking about Him. Don’t wait…Go to Him now..He’s patiently waiting for you…Believe Him.
The Princess spent her days walking in the glorious sunshine. Such joy! such a blessed life! She fell asleep without warning…she didn’t know how long she slept, but when awakening…such darkness! Ahhhhh Where was her King? Her Daddy that she loves..who loves her as well. She sets out to look for Him. She can’t find Him. How could this happen? Her sadness grew, her desperation more intense. Life is not good without her King..He showers her with the love and hope that makes her world turn….
Princess: (remembering that He can always hear her, and see her even when she cannot) My Lord! why have you left me here? I can not do this with out you…Please come and rescue me…Please do not leave me in the darkness…There is no darkness in you.
King: (speaking ever so quietly, ever so gently) I promised to never leave you, and I have kept my promise. But I will not force you to stay by my side where the light shines on your face and warms your heart. The world entices, and you must stay in my Word as it feeds your soul and keeps you from hungering for things that are not me.
Princess: I remember how we danced, i remember how much love filled my heart…oh how i adored you! still not sure how the world can pull me away from the only One who really matters. Please. Please fill my heart again with the hunger I need to pursue you. I am lost, I thought I could handle some things on my own. Now the darkness is suffocating. I can not save my self. Forgive, according to your loving kindness, because I belong to you. Restore. There is no life away from you.
King: (extending His hand into the darkness) Princess, take hold and never let go. The darkness will always be close while you walk this earth, but I am your safe place, no one else or nothing else can fill that void. Come to me. I will restore, Read my Words to you daily, keep me first in your thoughts, Know with all your heart that my love for you moves heaven and earth, Nothing can seperate you from me. The darkness lies to you, and you must put up your shield of faith, believe…
Princess: How could i just walk away from you? What kind of child leaves the most perfect Father without thinking about it? How or Why would you want to help me now?…nothing makes sense..
King: (cleaning her up, wiping her tears, dressing her in His love) I will brush you off, and you will take my hand, and we will continue on this journey..I have so much I want to show you, so many things that will delight your heart. Oh the plans I have! and when we rest…I will sing over you, watch over you as you sleep.
(looking over His shoulder speaking firmly to the darkness now far behind) This is my Princess..you can not have her…and I will protect her, and keep her close…I delight in her…
I have a dear friend who has been the wind under my wings for the last 3 1/2 years. Not only was her blog named “Deborah’s Encouragement”, but she truly was an encouragement to me, even in her rough times. I just love her. Now you must know that i never physically met her, instant messaged with her, skyped with her, emailed, Facebooked and twittered and blogged. Even if she only left a small message that said “love you dolla”, i knew she meant it with all her heart.
Her womens ministries was the most authentic, down to earth, heart to heart i ever experienced. She was not a missionary in South Africa, but a resident. She not only experienced rough times raising her children but shared them as well, for us to pray for her, and to know that Jesus hasn’t promised us a life with out trial, but promised to be with us.
Last weekend I learned from her very sweet sister that my dolla-Deborah is now with Jesus. Her husband came home one night and shot her in her sleep, then himself. He died immediately, and she died the next day. She is survived by a daughter who is married and a grandchild, another daughter who lived at home, and a son.
Honestly, I cannot imagine any of them going through ilfe without her…they were her DOLLAs…as i know the pain of suicide in my own life, i plead with God for mercy on her children at this time, to comfort them, to give them peace, to help them sleep, to help them eat, to help them not to fall to the schemes of the enemy…and for the life of me i will not ever understand why someone would do this…but Dear Jesus help us to forgive.
If you have time or would just like to experience her check out her blog…my favorite posts of hers are “One high heel, one slipper” . She will be greatly missed around the world
UPDATE: new information is showing that this is NOT a suicide/murder…it is a murder with a possible three shooters.