NNN-walking in the light

Last weekend, a Benefit concert was held, to celebrate my late husbands life and to help us financially.  Bitter sweet is the best way to describe it. All the bands were amazing! People traveled from places like Florida and New York. Many friends I haven’t see for years. Lots of hugs.

The next day my children and I, along with some close friends, spread his ashes at a beautiful spot that he loved. Again bittersweet.

Our lives are not at all what they used to be. My heart is slowly healing, but its healing.

Closure has come to the Frantz family. we survived the last few months. Its time to move on, always keeping his memory in our hearts. But life can not remain as it is.  God has so much more for us to experience, and so much more of Him to know.

True Confession: fight feeling guilty for not feeling the way most think I should.  Living is not an option, we live, we love, we laugh, we dance. Not exactly how movies portray the widow and her family.

God does not leave his children in a dark place, He rescues them, He restores hope, love, faith.  He puts a song in our heart, and laughter on our lips. We are following Him thru this tragedy called life, walking into the light. This is not our home….until its our turn to be home. Don’t judge us, don’t hate what you don’t understand, and not for a second believe Scott is not loved and missed, we will see him again…Next New Normal…

Life has changed…

Wow! haven’t been here for a long time….

Not sure where to start, but knowing I need to …

God called my soul mate home, unexpectedly.  

God spoke to me minutes before…” this is bigger than you know, I will take care of you, I am your husband”

It didn’t stop the pain from being the worst ever.

It did help me to draw closer to Him.

He did provide through others, some who know me, some who do not. 

We are financially making it, month to month, all by the Grace of God.

Several times a day, its as easy as “touch this pain and stop it, get me through this day” 

Immediately the pain eases, and daily normal living continues.

I don’t know the war in the heavenlies, but I know its there.

We all feel it through the day…the enemy is ruthless.

Please keep us in your prayers.

Don’t know what our new normal will look like, but we are hopeful that God restores as well as faithful.

It’s Personal

“Indeed, every good and perfect thing that has ever come into our lives has come as a gift to us from God Himself. It did not bubble up like crude oil from this earth. It flowed down like rain from the riverbanks of Heaven. It was intentional. It was personal. Yet we see ourselves at the mercy of random events, abilities, and coincidences.”-Beth Moore

It is way too easy to lose focus.  Wars around the world, the news with so many things to tear your security away from you. Health issues.  Yet, we have this…

Our Almighty God, King of kings, Supreme and Sovereign yet Loving and Compassionate. Creator of the universe, including us. Every thing strategically placed in His plan, blessings and cursings. He doesn’t need us, He wants us.  He sings over us and keeps watch while we sleep, everything to bring us closer to Him. His glory will shine, with or without us, but what an honor to shine His glory.  He has done everything to give us a way to be with Him.

The last six months have been difficult with my health.  Changing medicine, trying to understand what is going on with my body, trying not to be angry and bitter.  This week, while surrending to “this must be what you have for me”, He showed me something miraculous!  My doctors did not share with me the danger of being removed from one medication to another.  My Pharmacist put something in my bag, that was just the dangers of leaving that medication, honestly I felt most of those side effects that should have been treated. In my ignorance of all of this, I just rode it out. Some nights I just prayed to sustain me.  I am past the six months of danger, still weak, still having issues with the heat and humidity. This will take a year, but I have not used anything other than my allergy-asthma medication.

I felt the hug from Him, the reassurance that He has been giving me everything I need to live, the love of a Father (who truly can fix anything).

This is personal, He can do anything, He acts on our behalf without asking for the things we need, He already knows and is already doing it.

He is still in control, nothing that is going on in the world or our communities is shocking Him. Focus on Him, and the greatest gift of all, His never ending love. Loving us so much as to make that bridge (Jesus) so we would not be apart from Him.  Beautiful.

Safe Walls?

My heart is heavy with the word “safe”.  I have been hearing it more often, seems we all just want to be safe.  We seem to have our reasons for that. Are we tearing down one wall, just to build another?

God is not safe, He’s good.  So do we trust Him that He has everything under control, or do we continue to take the safer road?  Americans are most guilty of this.  Outreach in the community is God’s work.  Are we really to tell Him, we choose to use a social services so that we can help people who are safe by our standards?  Do we really tell worship leaders how to plan according to what we think is most productive to a heart? Or do we believe that God is still the only one saving a heart?

Worship leaders are praying about what God wants in their services, God still knows best.

My life was filled with abuse, so yes I do know what I am talking about.  I just don’t choose to label myself as such. Why? Because God has freed me, my past no longer defines me.  Was there some magic, or certain worship, maybe a special book that brought me to this place? NO! It was God, and spending time with Him, asking Him all the tough questions, letting Him walk me through each day, teaching me to make different choices, Loving me through my pain.

I had to learn to forgive, I had no idea how easy it was, that choosing God’s way would be all I needed.  The burden lifted the second I choose to truly give it to God, and allow Him to handle things.  Submission to Him was nothing like the world had taught me.  It was more like laying back in the arms of the one who truly loved me. It was not a bitter hard thing to swallow.

The world labels everything.  But they have not been introduced correctly to us.  We are God’s children, beloved, free, Kingdom living and not at all elite.

Is following God safe by the worlds standards? No…but we are not of the world.  Where is our sense of adventure? desire? it may be caught up in a trust issue…Believe God that He is capable of anything this world may throw at us…HE got this! safe no..good yes

Lets’s not tear down one wall to build another…we just need to believe God and not just believe there is an God.

Hearts in Chains

Ten years ago, God woke me up at 3 in the morning, and spoke to my heart very clearly.  He said “my bride is in bondage, she is asleep in it, wake her up, she must get ready. Believe me”  I know now that I did not fully understand.  I assumed it was about me. Bondage seemed to be my middle name.  I believed that the past some how molded me, and destroyed my future.  So living was more of doing with what I have.  

A few months later, I received a free ticket for a Beth Moore conference “Hearts set free”.  I didn’t know who she was, but I like free! and I knew in my heart, my own bondage needed to be resolved so that I could get ready and be wakened up.  She came on the stage, the very first words out of her mouth “God’s bride is in bondage, she is asleep and must wake up, she needs to get ready! Oh dear ones, God wants you to believe HIM.”   She now had my undivided attention! 

Over the years, I have learned to believe Him more, but there is always more to believe Him for.  Trust is an issue.  Abuse has taken a toll on many hearts, not just mine.  Knowing Him, is to believe Him.  He is believable! After studying through the Old Testament, God is trustworthy, 100% Truth, focused on his plan, and no one can defer Him.  Our actions do not change His thinking or His work.  

After we went through some things as a family, I seemed to have forgotten to just simply believe God.  I am doing this again.  My heart is reaching out to the abused, and asking “please believe Him”.  Forgiveness is not a feeling its a choice.  Choose it, even if you need to do it several times a day, God is strong enough to make it a heart thing for you, through your obedience to forgive.  It doesn’t have to be a one on one with the abuser, it just needs to be between you and God.  This will free your heart.  

Don’t you want to feel peace again? Or maybe feel peace for the first time?  Lay it all at the feet of God, He wants so much more for you than the life you live, HE wants your heart to be free.  He wants to take the bad and make it good.  He did not create you for the life you had, or chains that wrap your heart.  The church can not fix this for you, only God can fix His own creation.  

You are beautiful to Him, He rejoices that you are even thinking about Him.  Don’t wait…Go to Him now..He’s patiently waiting for you…Believe Him.

Just Believe

God has a plan, and we just need to surrender to it.  God is still God, and His plan is still in motion, with or without our surrender.  I think at times we forget this.  We are the created, and He is the Creator.  Everything moves along His timeline.  So many things happen that we just don’t understand.  Maybe we are not supposed too.

God asks us to rest in Him, to accept the gifts He has already given to us.  

*Peace

*Joy

*Love

*Security

*Mercy

*Redemption

*forgiveness

*Adoption into His family

*Blessed

If we (I) truly believed God, these things would flow out and saturate those around us…24/7

This year, I want to believe God more than ever before….