Category Archives: reflections

Life has changed…

Wow! haven’t been here for a long time….

Not sure where to start, but knowing I need to …

God called my soul mate home, unexpectedly.  

God spoke to me minutes before…” this is bigger than you know, I will take care of you, I am your husband”

It didn’t stop the pain from being the worst ever.

It did help me to draw closer to Him.

He did provide through others, some who know me, some who do not. 

We are financially making it, month to month, all by the Grace of God.

Several times a day, its as easy as “touch this pain and stop it, get me through this day” 

Immediately the pain eases, and daily normal living continues.

I don’t know the war in the heavenlies, but I know its there.

We all feel it through the day…the enemy is ruthless.

Please keep us in your prayers.

Don’t know what our new normal will look like, but we are hopeful that God restores as well as faithful.

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Filed under believe, God, hope, life, princess entries, reflections

Reflections…

There are times when quiet relection seems to be all that one can do, especially if you are a person who feels the need to do something. I am that type of person.

Lately a whole new level with the LORD has begun to open up, and following HIM is the only true option.  Awareness has become a strong sense to me, and equally hard to describe.  Looking in the the mirror, or a window, or water…the person who is reflected back to me, is new to me.  My past seems to be seperated from me, and who i once was is a stranger to me.  Healing? maybe…

Moving on with HIM, where ever this takes me.  At times just surrending, lifting my arms to HIM and saying, “even if i resist, just take me”.  Do you ever find yourself resisting?  Wish i could say that i don’t, but too many times i do.

Its time to get on with this thing called Faith and believing, its time to blindly allow HIM to lead, and trusting that HE is good (not necessarily safe).  In this time of reflection, HE reminds me over and over…”Believe me here, I do not fail you”…

This morning he woke me to a song that HE woke me with many years ago…and it touched my heart so deeply.  The memories of that time flooded my heart, a time when HE was new to me, a time when things seemed very uncertain, and i time when i knew without a doubt that HIS arms and love flowed over me.

HE is the same God, yesterday, today, and forever, never changing…the God of my yesterday, today and forever…HE’s been there all along, and yes i do know HIM, and yes HE is believeable and trustworthy..

How long has it been that you have allowed silence into your home, nothing but the Word, nothing but Praise music?  I promise you, its worth the effort, and a time of relecting always follows.

if you are interested this is the song that HE has waken me to…


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Filed under Abundant Grace, Acceptance, believe, deliverance, follow, God, God's plan, Grace, healing, hope, Kingdom living, Know HIM, princess entries, reflections

Happy New Year…

Reflecting on the New Year that we are about to enter, so many things flood my mind. Good, Bad, indifferent, all definitely a part of living.  As I enter the New Year, I choose to remember these things…

**God is trustworthy

**God is loyal

**God is faithful

**God is never too busy

**God never forgets us for a second

**God wants the best for HIS children

**God’s glory will always shine

**God always has a plan

**God is love, and shares with me

**God provides for me, always

**My identity is found in HIM

**Everything falls on HOPE , FAITH, LOVE, GRACE, MERCY, and a never ending supply of all!

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Filed under Faithfulness, Grace, hope, life, Love, mercy, Only One God, ponderisms, princess entries, reflections

No longer a broken smile

Lately my life has not been its norm.  I’ve been going through surgeries to undo some damage that I have walked through most of life with, and some from the drug abuse I did that eased the pain of the abuse, and the spiral just continued.  It got to the point where my health was seriously at stake, and I no longer could ignore it.  So some inflicted on me, some self inflicted.  This has been my summer of pain. Very intense. My smile was broken.

I want to share with you how awesome our GOD is!  Through this summer, HE has brought me beautiful people who do not know me, yet they pray for me, and I know it carried me through.  HE brought friends who do know me, closer to me.  HE placed me in front of my computer and provided so many good things for me to read and fill my mind. And the most precious thing to my heart…online church.  God does love HIS children, and although the enemy kicked me every inch of the way this summer, the LORD pulled me closer, and overwhelmed me with the way HE loves us!

Today I looked in the mirror, and some thing has definitely changed.  My mouth has been reconstructed on the inside, and my smile is new to me.  The damage and abuse that I went through as a small child through to young adult life had taken the smile that GOD had given me.  This may not mean much to anyone but me, and thats okay…but I rejoice in how HE gives back what the enemy has taken…even something so small as a smile.  I thank HIM for caring so much about the little things in our lives, and for giving me my hubs that felt my smile was worth every penny it cost.  Thanking GOD for providing that income as well.  God is good, HE does take the bad and make it good, and HE is the lifter of my head!

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Filed under deliverance, God, Jesus, life, praise, princess entries, reflections, restoration, Smile, thankfulness

Another piece of my story…

When I was a little girl in third grade, our house burned down along with 9 other row houses. Ours was in the middle of the nine and we lost everything. My brother started the fire, deliberately hoping to kill my step-father(who really is a saint!).  No one died, just six months of rebuilding, and being seperated as a family. There were five kids in my family, and we all stayed with someone different.  I was sick the night of the fire, and my brother saved me (always hits kind of strange as he started it). But the next day, we found out that I had “old fashioned type” measles, the kind your infants are innoculated for, I guess mine didn’t work.  I had to stay with my Step Grandmother for one week in a dark room to keep the measles from taking my eye sight. It doesn’t sound like a bad deal, but she was so mean to me.  She wasn’t happy that she inherited 4 grandchildren, and was sure I was going to steal from her.  Mostly I was just terrified of her.  After the abuse my Dad inflicted on my family, my step dad was a saint to take us all and keep us.  His mom did not feel the same, and was very open about it.  I was only there for 10 days, and my aunt came to get me, and I stayed with her very old parents the remainder of the 6 months.  It was a very long six months…My mom was at my step Grandmothers, but us kids were not allowed to stay, so we all lived somewhere different.

This weekend she died.  My Step dad always witnessed to her, and hoped that she truly did accept the Lord.  As a believer, I prayed for her, but in all honesty, I am numb.  I don’t feel anything about her being gone.  I am not angry, yet I am not grieving either. Wondering if this is normal?

Many years the Lord has been working on me in the area of forgiveness, and each and every time I learn to forgive through HIS power.  I believe I did forgive her along time ago, but our relationship was never restored. Mostly because we never had one.

I pray that she was open to the LORD before she left here.  I hurt for my Step Dad who is still at the loss of his mother. But most of all, I wonder if the past will ever stop showing up to throw dark clouds on us, causing us to stumble. Be patient with ones who have an abusive past, the devil uses it against us, over and over and over…and if they admit to one abuse, I believe there were many more..abuse has a cycle..much damage is done to heart that has been abused…more than we want to look at,  or admit to.

Thank you God for delivering us…we were not created to be mistreated, but to give you Glory..YOU are the GOD of my yesterday, today, and no doubt of my tomorrows…Let you Glory shine in these times…don’t allow it to be for no reason…

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Filed under family, forgiveness, God, healing, heart, life, princess entries, reflections, relationship, restoration

things to ponder…

* Oh..how HE loves us so..oh how HE loves us..(this song is stuck in my head today)

* walking through the valley is the time when we earn crowns to place at HIS feet..(different perspective)

* all things work together for those who love HIM

* unlimited “do-overs”,  what is not to love about that?

* jump..HE will catch you

* sometimes we need to travel the hardest road, to get to the best place

* no place is dark enough for God not to shine through..amazing

* when everything else fails…HE never does

*God is working through the internet, on Twitter, in Blogsville-i know i seen HIM

* even in the remotest corner of the world, we are never alone-HE is there with us

* HE gave us promises, and HE does not lie

*HE doesn’t love just a little..HE loves completely, and unconditionally

 

these are some of the things i am pondering through maybe you need some things to ponder on too…these things always cause me look up, move closer, and feel the healing power of our awesome God..love and peace!

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Filed under Amazement, believe, blessings, Blogsville, encouragement, God, healing, heart, hope, life, Love, ponderisms, princess entries, reflections, twitter