Category Archives: trust

What’s The Point?

Observation:

People generally say anything that they think you want to hear. It’s not helpful.

People generally have their own desires in front of any repercussions it may cost another. Its awful.

People spend most of their life working for more money to better their life, while destroying relationships. Its painful.

People will hate another all while preaching love. It hurts.

Realism:

We push hard to just make it through the week, and lick our wounds in private. Its hard.

We try to be honest with others. Its brutal.

We deal with manipulators who are pleasing their own twisted agenda. Its sickening.

Don’t trust people. Don’t trust your heart. Its deceiving.

So, what’s the point? Why are we pushing so hard, there is no promise that the other side of this is any better.

Why allow anyone in to the closed part of your soul, your deepest thoughts? They will not honor them.

I don’t know what the point is.  I am not sure why I do this every day.  But I know I screwed up.  I looked to someone else and put my trust out there, and it was disastrous. An already trashed heart, smashed a little more.

God is the only one who knows “whats the point”, wondering if he will tell me.

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Filed under heavy heart, journey, lack of life, life, mourning, my brain, painful, struggles, trust, wounds

Safe Walls?

My heart is heavy with the word “safe”.  I have been hearing it more often, seems we all just want to be safe.  We seem to have our reasons for that. Are we tearing down one wall, just to build another?

God is not safe, He’s good.  So do we trust Him that He has everything under control, or do we continue to take the safer road?  Americans are most guilty of this.  Outreach in the community is God’s work.  Are we really to tell Him, we choose to use a social services so that we can help people who are safe by our standards?  Do we really tell worship leaders how to plan according to what we think is most productive to a heart? Or do we believe that God is still the only one saving a heart?

Worship leaders are praying about what God wants in their services, God still knows best.

My life was filled with abuse, so yes I do know what I am talking about.  I just don’t choose to label myself as such. Why? Because God has freed me, my past no longer defines me.  Was there some magic, or certain worship, maybe a special book that brought me to this place? NO! It was God, and spending time with Him, asking Him all the tough questions, letting Him walk me through each day, teaching me to make different choices, Loving me through my pain.

I had to learn to forgive, I had no idea how easy it was, that choosing God’s way would be all I needed.  The burden lifted the second I choose to truly give it to God, and allow Him to handle things.  Submission to Him was nothing like the world had taught me.  It was more like laying back in the arms of the one who truly loved me. It was not a bitter hard thing to swallow.

The world labels everything.  But they have not been introduced correctly to us.  We are God’s children, beloved, free, Kingdom living and not at all elite.

Is following God safe by the worlds standards? No…but we are not of the world.  Where is our sense of adventure? desire? it may be caught up in a trust issue…Believe God that He is capable of anything this world may throw at us…HE got this! safe no..good yes

Lets’s not tear down one wall to build another…we just need to believe God and not just believe there is an God.

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Filed under Abiding, abused, believe, deliverance, encouragement, faith, freedom, God, heavy heart, hope, Kingdom living, Know HIM, life, overcome, safe place, trust, worship

Just Believe

God has a plan, and we just need to surrender to it.  God is still God, and His plan is still in motion, with or without our surrender.  I think at times we forget this.  We are the created, and He is the Creator.  Everything moves along His timeline.  So many things happen that we just don’t understand.  Maybe we are not supposed too.

God asks us to rest in Him, to accept the gifts He has already given to us.  

*Peace

*Joy

*Love

*Security

*Mercy

*Redemption

*forgiveness

*Adoption into His family

*Blessed

If we (I) truly believed God, these things would flow out and saturate those around us…24/7

This year, I want to believe God more than ever before….

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Filed under believe, Blessed, encouragement, forgiveness, gifts, God, God's plan, hope, Joy, Kingdom living, life, Love, mercy, Peace, princess entries, redemption, Security, Surrender, trust

Surrender…

In the end of December/Beginning of January, a blogger wrote a post about One Word that was on your heart, for the new year, not a resolution just a word. Every year end I pray for God to give me something that will help me into and thru the new year.  Sometimes its been verses i  needed to commit to memory, that at some point in the year, i ended up leaning on with all being.  Yeah, HE does that when we ask.

But this year He gave me a word.  SURRENDER.  Ahhhhh the longer i thought on it, the more mixed my thoughts became.  I know that my heart is surrendered to HIM as my King, my Creator, and LORD.  But it seemed to mean something else…so casually i put it aside.  

As every other year, the year moves on, and soon I am faced with exactly why I need that one thing God has given me.

I learned a long time ago that people fail me, and all my decisions/choices are mine.  But God never fails me.

I have been going thru lots of ups and downs, with changes in my life that just had to change.  Health issues with family.  With each and every heart ache, disappointment, or discouragement, HE stood before me reminding me to SURRENDER these things to HIM.  Its not about how well i can take care of me or the ones i love.  We all belong to HIM, and HE is doing things we just don’t always understand.  

SURRENDER…getting my hands off it, laying down at HIS feet, and leaving it there with HIM..SURRENDER…A lesson I am sure i will continue to learn.  Things are going well in our lives, and some rough spots are still in front of us, but breathing easy is due to SURRENDER…

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Filed under believe, convictions, God, God's plan, hope, Kingdom living, life, obedience, princess entries, Surrender, trust

Exploring my gifts…

Today I spent the day with people I do not know, and two I have met briefly.  We explored our Gifts from God.  It was all very exciting, and informative. At the same time very humbling, and terrifying.  God does expect a return on those gifts for HIS glory. So many of mine, have laid untouched for a year. So its quite an understatement to say , “God has lit a fire under my butt”..but HE has.  For that I am grateful.  Also very repentant.

Would we allow any other gift to lay in a corner and not open it? not use it? not show some kind of excitement?

While thinking of how much of a disappointment I am to HIM, I realized that something else was going on in this room…

I was learning and seeing with my own eyes how each person has gifts that are not all the same, and we compliment each other very well. There was no pride or arrogance.  Unity filled the room.  Then HE nudged me… “you love them, don’t you? you are loving the body of Christ”  oh! i have prayed for that so long, and thought i would never sense that in a structured environment.

I love HIM so! Thankful for the gifts HE has given to me, and praying that I will grow into each one of them and use them for HIS glory.  HE always knows what I need, and always knows exactly how to encourage me!

Father God, you know the plans you have for me.  At times it terrifies me at all you have entrusted to me. Realizing that it because  I fear failing you. But You do not fail me.  Please help me to take my place in Your body, using the gifts you have given me, and overcoming the fears that I have. I love you LORD, and I am lifting up my gifts to you for your glory.  As you have said it will be…so will it be. Your Princess who is shaking her head, taking deep breaths as I dive in deeper…

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Filed under believe, fear, gifts, God, God's plan, journey, Kingdom living, life, mercy, prayer, princess entries, repentance, thankfulness, trust

Abundant Grace- Day 2 Sacrifice

Ahhhhh! did this one hit a few nerves for you? It certainly hit a few with me.

(Genesis 22:1-18 )  When I read this, the questions started to roll around.  I know God has called me out many times to lay my “Isaac” down on HIS altar, and surrender that person/things to HIM. At times it felt like HE was ripping my heart out, and thru the tears, I realized there was no other choice.  Abraham knew and believed that he would walk away from that mountain with his son…even if it meant God would raise him from the dead! I have often wondered why this “test”? what was it Abram was to learn, it seemed like he already had it all figured out?  And surely, God being all knowing, already knew that Abram would choose obedience..so why?

Job 1:6-12 show a different testing..but is definitely called out as testing.  Without going to far off track, the reason for the testing was due to the unseen heavenlies, the enemy/accuser/Satan..

I just want to add that we are unaware of the war in the heavenlies, when we have been accused.  I do know that God will not allow the enemy to have his way without God turning it out for the good.  So altho this is just a theory….I have learned from this story, multiple times.

Obedience, trust, surrendering the most dear thing to my heart, learning that HIS sovereignty is something to be acknowledge!

I have always admired Abram for his faith…

What does this reading stir in you? It has certainly stirred my heart and thinking…

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Filed under obedience, princess entries, struggles, Summer Break, testing, trust