Some days just move along according to plan, and seem the same as any other day, and some days are filled with ponderings on past, present, and future. Today was a pondering day. I believe that God is always in control, and if the enemy gets to me, then HE allowed it for my good. Sounds harsh. But I don’t believe God is cruel just for something to do or that its fun for HIM. I believe its always to shake something out of me or to teach me something that I am needing or will need.
Today I thought about all the things that have happened around me that are hurtful, and how much I don’t want to make those same bad choices because of them. So I laid it all out before HIM. “I need to respond correctly and not react negatively”. *sigh* I continued to battle with who I am in Christ. That seems to be my weakest area, although I know it, sometimes believing is hardest.
I started to feel old injuries (from abuse, some inflicted on me, some self inflicted). I acknowleged them. And then it came to me…HE has removed me from who I was to who I am now, and that seems like a completely different person, like watching some movie on life time. I am a new creation, I am the daughter of the KING, I am HIS, and HE is teaching me. All in HIS time, All in HIS ways, and exactly how HE made me to recieve it.
I wonder if people ever truly get the fact that when they are careless and hurtful, that they cause a child of God to stumble and sometimes fall down. Praying to not be careless and hurtful…two negatives will never make a positive. I want to be more like Jesus, and sometimes that requires suffering, and remaining speechless…