Pondering, God is always in control

Some days just move along according to plan, and seem the same as any other day, and some days are filled with ponderings on past, present, and future.  Today was a pondering day.  I believe that God is always in control, and if the enemy gets to me, then HE allowed it for my good.  Sounds harsh.  But I don’t believe God is cruel just for something to do or that its fun for HIM.  I believe its always to shake something out of me or to teach me something that I am needing or will need. 

Today I thought about all the things that have happened around me that are hurtful, and how much I don’t want to make those same bad choices because of them.  So I laid it all out before HIM.  “I need to respond  correctly and not react negatively”.  *sigh* I continued to battle with who I am in Christ.  That seems to be my weakest area, although I know it, sometimes believing is hardest. 

I started to feel old injuries (from abuse, some inflicted on me, some self inflicted). I acknowleged them.  And then it came to me…HE has removed me from who I was to who I am now, and that seems like a completely different person, like watching some movie on life time.  I am a new creation, I am the daughter of the KING, I am HIS, and HE is teaching me.  All in HIS time, All in HIS ways, and exactly how HE made me to recieve it. 

I wonder if people ever truly get the fact that when they are careless and hurtful, that they cause a child of God to stumble and sometimes fall down.  Praying to not be careless and hurtful…two negatives will never make a positive. I want to be more like Jesus, and sometimes that requires suffering, and remaining speechless…

Seriously Random!

If I could do anything I want right now, I think I am doing it.  So many things need my attention, so I am back to making a list..or I get lost.  When  people tear me down, it effects me much later, and usually when everyone else has forgotten.  *sigh*  Driving the bus always sets me up to see and hear things I don’t always want to hear and see..today, is cold, and little ones climbing on the bus with out even a jacket on…makes me sad and then angry..all over the world adults have forgotten children…again it makes me angry.  I am seldom right..but when I am I want my turn!  Oh I was thinking about how far I have come in my life so far, and without a doubt that is all glory to God.  For the people who want to steal my joy and my hope….lean in ..closer ..closer…close enough for me to reachout and grab ahold of you!  Nevermind!  ARGH!  Did you know that Hippos are friendly to dogs?  Yeah, my daughter informed me of this last night, and they will even help a mother dog tend to her babies..strange..the info not my daughter (haha), I need to get something for my Hubs birthday, and I am all out of ideas that are not food! I know food works..but its his birthday , ya know?  What do you think I should get him? Help with some ideas… or let me know some random piece of information that is floating around in your head!