Tag Archives: restoration

NNN-Next New Normal

Wondering why sedation is the answer to grieving? It was more of a problem for me.  Maybe its my addictive personality, maybe it just wasn’t right for me.  

I refuse to take the sedation any more. 

Running straight into it with my eyes open…it has to be that way.

27 years ago I was here. Bad, no terrible devastating decisions, drugs, alcohol, and whatever gets you through the night. Reaching out for anything.

I learned the hard way, but I learned. There is no easy way out of here. So keep your head, move forward no matter what the pain feels like, be the overcomer you are created to be. If the need a rises to grab on to something, then grab a hold of the only One who loves us so deep, so high, so wide, so long. He is the only One who knows every detail of our life. 

Always for us, not against us.

Strong safe place to land.

Never gets tired of us, always wants more of us.

Next step in the New Normal; 

Believing the only One will not leave us in the desolate place, and will restore us to something beautiful, He is faithful and He does not lie, He has no darkside, and He doesn’t need us, He wants us….even in our messy broken lives…

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grief process

So many things one must experience in the grief process. None are easy.  Constantly missing and wanting someone who will never walk thru the door again.  If that is not enough to cause stress, suddenly you take his place in parenting, providing, and comforting others. After 50 days of working like crazy to pull things together, talking to people to receive help, many who treat you as if you are scamming them, things slow down to the beginning of a new normal.  Without a doubt, God has brought us through all of it. Many people helped us financially without any gain for them self.

As things get quiet…realizing all your dreams have disappeared with your loss.  New dreams seem almost impossible. A huge void opens.  Clinging to the only One who can help and who understands fully.  Moments of peace. 

Sleep is what I need, instead, I wake up in the middle of an anxiety attack which is foreign to me. Crying , shaking, finding it difficult to breathe.

I truly do not understand this part. It may be normal, I may have to go thru this.  It just seems like another pill for me, and I am looking forward to restoration. I still believe, He is going to rescue me.

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