Category Archives: storms

The Need to Believe HIM

Haven’t had alot of blogging time lately, but I sure am missing you all!

Some thoughts that are rolling around in my head (yes it is non-stop),  

God has laid out some very intentional things in the Bible that we seem to pick and choose as to if we believe it, or when we believe it. Seriously our bad!  As a believer , I need to believe HIM, not just what has been taught about HIM, or what is read in other books, but we need to BELIEVE HIM.  

Some of our storms, and some of the repercussions for our sin, are heavy, and seem like we will not make it through to the other side.  When thinking that..disbelief.  Several years ago, leading a study (to a few groups) on Believing God by Beth Moore, I was totally blown away at how little I believe HIM.  intense!

My storm is different this time, not at all like the rest, and while calling out to GOD, HE answered my heart, and reminded me of that study. And all HE says over and over is Believe Me.  

When you are in a rough time, do you believe that GOD has allowed that time for a reason, and has not left you, nor will HE let you drown there?  Do you believe HIM?  I am learning to believe HIM at a new level, and laying down my idols that have been holding me captive.  For this moment..I believe HIM, maybe later today not so much, then again more  belief.  Oh LORD, help our unbelief!

22 Comments

Filed under Abiding, believe, Bible, bitterness, blessings, Change, deliverance, Faithfulness, finger of God, God, Grace, hope, Jesus, life, storms, trust

Down to the Bottom/Lifter of my head IV

(you can find the beginning of this story on the page listed the same as this title- thank you Ellen at Stormstories for your encouragement to day to tell this part.

Five years or so passed before I started to seriously date for relationship.  I just didn’t want a man around with all the drama that seemed to be part of that. My baby girl was my world.  I still partied but not extensively (so I felt that was acceptable), I did not party in front of my daughter, and men were not allowed to come to my home. That was our refuge from the world.

Eventually I gave in to a young man, a farmer(go head laugh, I know you want to). I was so desperate for something to be the way it should. (God was already working on my heart, I was tired of living under the curse)  Life seemed good for a while, and he had a son, so I took him in like my own.  Soon, he was drunk everyday, and missing work. It was nothing to come home and find the electric turned off, or all my food eaten by his drunken buddies who were now sleeping on my floor, at 4 in the afternoon.  He started to beat me when I was sleeping, (with good reason, I tore him up awake)for things that I later found out he was doing.  Long story short..I caught him with my best friend, so I lost them both the same day. I never felt pain like that of betrayal. And it felt like my heart had been cut out and left laying for me to look at.  By this time I have two girls and a son that is not mine.  I tried to work through it with him, and no friend…but it increasing got worse. My pain and his actions. He soon had several girlfriends, and told my girls to call me names. He did this in front of me, and it broke my heart even more to hear them call me names out of those precious little mouths.  This time my girls(71/2, 1) and his son(6) watched me push him through a door, and beat him til the police arrived. All charges were dropped. (Thank you Jesus)

My only friend left in the world worked with me, and saw me go through all this, broken ribs, tears that seemed they would not end.  This friend helped me move out while he was at work (another thank you Jesus for him going to work), and helped me set up a new place to live.  This friend was there for me, and seemed to have no motives other than he liked me, just like I was.  I had no idea that he would become the wonderful husband that I have today! (Again thank you Jesus)

I could not write this part of my story for a long time. I could not articulate exactly why. I had forgiven him, and I had moved on with Jesus Christ, I just couldn’t tell this part.  Recently, I was pulled into court to see him face to face over a support order that is now 14 years old. I never took full support, and only asked for 325 a month to cover the sitter expenses, no medical support, nothing else. It was raised to 425 a month 6 years ago by the state.  I totally fell apart knowing that I had to see him again. The rejection, and betrayal seemed to surface, and I needed Jesus to go with me.  Turned out he needed a favor, and for me to lower the support to keep him out of jail.  I asked him to sign her over to us and I would drop the support all together. Forgiving the debt and the one that was past due.  He agreed. 

I looked at this man, and knew that GOD had made such a change in my heart. I no longer looked at him with contempt, I looked at a broken man who needed Jesus. I told him that.  “Jesus is the only one who can fix your problems, and you should really take some time and talk to HIM, it’s working for me..” He shook his head thanked me, and said “who would’ve thunk”. 

God heals the hurts, HE binds up the wounds, and when it is most uncomfortable for me, HE has a plan that is worth following HIM into.  (My next entry to this will be my story of when I came to Christ and made a commitment, and How that changed everything,..truly lifting my head)

19 Comments

Filed under bitterness, blessings, deception, deliverance, family, forgiveness, freedom, God, Grace, healing, heart, Humility, Jesus, life, loss, Only One God, princess entries, restoration, storms, suffering, testimony, unfaithful, unforgiveness

More Fire…More Desire

Spiritual storms are the worst.  But its more experience for me to walk by faith and not by sight. I hate the dark…but I have learned that my battles there are life changing, not only for me but for those around me.  When ever I finish a womens study, I seem to enter this realm that although I sense it coming, I am still never ready for it.  We (as a family) are in total surrender to the LORD, and after much struggling and prayer, we believe HE is relocating us and a new ministry is going to form. We don’t know when exactly, and we think we know where.

The enemy would like me to crawl under a rock, and shut my mouth, and I can’t do that..see I know too much for that, and bowing to him is not an option for me.  The enemy always goes after my children when he can’t reach me. For a long time I thought that if I spoke to the people who are in positions to encourage them and look after their souls (with in the church), and pray and encourage them myself, that was the best I could do, and well God has to do the rest.

Sometimes God wants us to pick up our sword, and fight the thing out.  Feeling that call right now.  Its become so important to me that my children never have their fire for Christ stepped on by believers. This is serious…children are being taught by adult actions to give the LORD lip service, and to turn their flame down. No that is so wrong!

We would love to have your prayers as we press on, and refuse to take one step without our God.  The world will fade away, but Yahweh…remains forever!  We know our need for more of HIM, and we know that laying everything down at HIS feet is worth more than worldly riches.  

Lord God, you know the situations and the hurts that have plagued us, we watched  as people lost their fire, and wondered how could this be? Please don’t let us lose our fire, increase the flame of desire for You, we will go with You, just not without You. 

Thanks for your prayers, we are blessed to have you all as a blog faith family..you are truly the body of Christ…Beautiful!

9 Comments

Filed under Authenticity, Change, conversing with God, deliverance, direction, finger of God, God, life, Only One God, oppressed, prayer, storms, Surrender

Storm Stories-Overcomer-Refuge

Noreaster is hosting a month of Storm Stories, today is my day to write for him.  But if you want to read it, you got it..you need to go there and read.  Please read the other posts while you are there and check in throughout the month.  I am very excited and encouraged about what has begun, and what will be presented there…so just do it!  It easy..just click on the pic “Storm Stories” ..see wasn’t that easy!

I believe that God is my refuge, my hiding place, my strong tower, and always with me.  Sounds kind of big headed, but seriously the Bible says its true, so Truth it is!  When you are caught in a storm (and yes you will), remember who goes there with you.  Peace and love…see you over at the Noreaster’s!

2 Comments

Filed under Abiding, believe, Bible, Christianity, finger of God, God, hope, life, NorEaster, storms, suffering, Surrender, trust

Storm Stories…

If you want to know more about Storm Stories or if you would like to participate, please follow the link on the side bar, and click on the page Storm Stories.   I would just bet you have been through a storm or maybe you are in one now…. please check this out, you don’t want to miss it!  The Noreaster is hosting this (really he is the brains behind it..).  go now..check it out!

1 Comment

Filed under heart, hope, life, NorEaster, storms