remembering when God turned my world upside down and inside out for my good…remembering how unsettling at times that was…didn’t know at that time that God would have to do that to me over again….and who knows? maybe several more times in my life…
About eight years ago, the path i was on…nothing short of incredible…three years ago, a mentor led me into a pit that scarred me in ways no one will ever know, but God knows. Since then, it seems to be very easy for me to fall into my old life style at a drop of a hat! I don’t let people very close to me, until i am pulling away into my seclusion that feels like home to me.
Thought that was all behind me. Only to wake up recently and realize I live there again…
God is once again turning my heart, my life upside down and inside out, for my own good, and to bring HIM glory. Is it painful..yes. Acceptance and affirmation have become idols, and they need to go…strange that when they let me down (and of course they will) my emotions become upset with God. Realize this now… I need to spend time in the word every day, and i need to listen to good praise music, i need to spend time in conversation with HIM…these are only my convictions, i don’t expect them to be yours. My scars have been reopened, and wounds can only be healed HIS wounds, and who i am can only be found in HIM.
Its going to be worth it, and i have to believe that.