Category Archives: restoration

Not Guilty anymore… (repost)

Decided to repost this from 2009, as the message is incredible, and seems we need to be reminded often.  We are not guilty anymore, Mercy is ours!  

This is something that has plagued me for many years,..about the time I believe I am walking in the blessing and feeling redeemed, forgiven, and restored..

In my Face! always wondering, how could that have come back to me again in a such a crippling way..When we believe God, have repented, HE promises to take it away as far as the east is from the west, never to belong to us again..we are Free from the past…we are certainly not guilty anymore..I needed this video, and thought maybe you do too..

Not Guilty Anymore-AaronKeyes

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Filed under Aaron Keyes, believe, encouragement, forgiveness, freedom, God, Grace, healing, hope, life, mercy, not guilty, repentance, restoration

Are you Broken-hearted?


We all suffer at times. Sometimes our hearts are broke in a million                pieces, and hopelessness sets in.  Wondering…how will we ever put it all back together the way it was? We won’t. But God will put it back together, but not the same as it was, better!

Psalm 34:18
The
Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.

Psalm 147:1
He Heals the Brokenhearted
Praise the
Lord! For it is good to sing praises to our God; for it is pleasant, and a song of praise is fitting.

Psalm 147:3
He heals the
brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Isaiah 61:1
The Year of the
Lord‘s Favor
The Spirit of the Lord
God is upon me, because the Lord has anointed me to bring good news to the poor; he has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to those who are bound

(These verse were taken from the ESV, and the underlined/italicized  words are my emphasis.)

I wish so much I could take your face in my hands and cause you to look up, to dry your tears, and whisper “HE is here, reach for HIM.” Although this is the worst time you can imagine, you are in the perfect place to see HIS Glory, to know HIS touch to your heart, to experience HIS warmth and love wrap around you like a blanket.  I know HE is there with you. I have been where you are, and will be there again no doubt, as we live in this world that is falling apart, and have an enemy that is bent on destroying us, our marriages, our children, and what ever we hold dear.  I believe nothing touches HIS heart as tenderly as HIS child holding out her/his hands with a tear stained face.   Crying out I hurt.

I know as a mother, I would swoop up my kids in my arms, and wipe tears, and speak softly, and do all in my power to comfort them.  How much greater is our GOD to love on HIS children and then go a step beyond,…heal the broken heart, and restore things to a level that is glorifying to HIM.  No one messes with HIS babies…and walks away without knowing that HE is the KING of KINGS, and your Daddy, your heart healer…((HUGS))

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Filed under Bible, deliverance, encouragement, family, God, healing, heart, hope, life, Love, princess entries, restoration, Truth

This has been my Struggle

There has been an intense struggle the last few months.  Its over.  My thinking was twisted, due to following man rather than God. Sounds harsh….but the truth is, my own longing to belong to the body of Christ, and my own thinking on what that is exactly, caused me to only hear what man more educated than me has to say about that.  That was my first mistake…God has always been there to teach me and to lead me, and I believed that HE was handing me off to someone.  My worst fear became a reality. The fire for Christ and to spread the Gosple began to die down. After trying to talk through it with a man, I realized he did not understand me, and I have been judged.  Is this all part of God’s plan? yes.  My longing to be part of..was off.  I already am part of the body of Christ. When I get hurt by the “believers”, I tend to take that out on the ONE i love the most.  (They said i was part of their family..me..the one who never really had a family..so what do I know about this..apparently nothing. Please do not take this as a slam on the church, I don’t believe they are wrong, yet I also believe that God wants my attention, and now HE has it.) God changed my husbands schedule forcing us to walk another direction, because HE loves us, and HE knows what HE is doing, and me..not so much.

The LORD has brought me back to HIS side, reminding me that I am never alone, and HE never tires of me asking questions, and HE never feels like HE has invested too much time in me. Just the opposite, HE wants to invest time in me.  HE used my daughter this week to show me videos, that actually broke through my fog I have been walking in, and I am sharing them with you. In the order that I have them in, is the conversation between me and God. I hope it helps your heart too, where ever you may be on this road.  No one trumps God, and what HE has spoken to your heart. And no one can know or discern your heart without investing time in you. God is the only ONE who truly knows your heart..follow HIM.

For some reason the one that speaks my heart the best in this struggle will not embed..sooo if you would like to hear it go here  

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Filed under conversing with God, family, finger of God, God, Grace, healing, heart, heart condition, hope, Identity, life, mercy, princess entries, repentance, restoration, video

Down to the Bottom/Lifter of my head IV

(you can find the beginning of this story on the page listed the same as this title- thank you Ellen at Stormstories for your encouragement to day to tell this part.

Five years or so passed before I started to seriously date for relationship.  I just didn’t want a man around with all the drama that seemed to be part of that. My baby girl was my world.  I still partied but not extensively (so I felt that was acceptable), I did not party in front of my daughter, and men were not allowed to come to my home. That was our refuge from the world.

Eventually I gave in to a young man, a farmer(go head laugh, I know you want to). I was so desperate for something to be the way it should. (God was already working on my heart, I was tired of living under the curse)  Life seemed good for a while, and he had a son, so I took him in like my own.  Soon, he was drunk everyday, and missing work. It was nothing to come home and find the electric turned off, or all my food eaten by his drunken buddies who were now sleeping on my floor, at 4 in the afternoon.  He started to beat me when I was sleeping, (with good reason, I tore him up awake)for things that I later found out he was doing.  Long story short..I caught him with my best friend, so I lost them both the same day. I never felt pain like that of betrayal. And it felt like my heart had been cut out and left laying for me to look at.  By this time I have two girls and a son that is not mine.  I tried to work through it with him, and no friend…but it increasing got worse. My pain and his actions. He soon had several girlfriends, and told my girls to call me names. He did this in front of me, and it broke my heart even more to hear them call me names out of those precious little mouths.  This time my girls(71/2, 1) and his son(6) watched me push him through a door, and beat him til the police arrived. All charges were dropped. (Thank you Jesus)

My only friend left in the world worked with me, and saw me go through all this, broken ribs, tears that seemed they would not end.  This friend helped me move out while he was at work (another thank you Jesus for him going to work), and helped me set up a new place to live.  This friend was there for me, and seemed to have no motives other than he liked me, just like I was.  I had no idea that he would become the wonderful husband that I have today! (Again thank you Jesus)

I could not write this part of my story for a long time. I could not articulate exactly why. I had forgiven him, and I had moved on with Jesus Christ, I just couldn’t tell this part.  Recently, I was pulled into court to see him face to face over a support order that is now 14 years old. I never took full support, and only asked for 325 a month to cover the sitter expenses, no medical support, nothing else. It was raised to 425 a month 6 years ago by the state.  I totally fell apart knowing that I had to see him again. The rejection, and betrayal seemed to surface, and I needed Jesus to go with me.  Turned out he needed a favor, and for me to lower the support to keep him out of jail.  I asked him to sign her over to us and I would drop the support all together. Forgiving the debt and the one that was past due.  He agreed. 

I looked at this man, and knew that GOD had made such a change in my heart. I no longer looked at him with contempt, I looked at a broken man who needed Jesus. I told him that.  “Jesus is the only one who can fix your problems, and you should really take some time and talk to HIM, it’s working for me..” He shook his head thanked me, and said “who would’ve thunk”. 

God heals the hurts, HE binds up the wounds, and when it is most uncomfortable for me, HE has a plan that is worth following HIM into.  (My next entry to this will be my story of when I came to Christ and made a commitment, and How that changed everything,..truly lifting my head)

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Filed under bitterness, blessings, deception, deliverance, family, forgiveness, freedom, God, Grace, healing, heart, Humility, Jesus, life, loss, Only One God, princess entries, restoration, storms, suffering, testimony, unfaithful, unforgiveness

Wedding Dress- Derek Webb

As I listened to this intro/video , first shocked at the raw look at who we have become…we need to wake up, and take GOD seriously…this is not about wealth..and although I believe that HE wants to expand our boundries, HE wants us to be working the back yards we have.It doesn’t mean HE doesn’t send some abroad, or that some will be wealthy.  It can’t be our priority. I don’t  want to be an adulterous bride…harsh? yeah..reality check.

Intro to Wedding Dress- Derek Webb

Wedding Dress- Derek Webb

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Filed under adultery, blessings, deception, distraction, forgiveness, Humility, Idolatry, life, repentance, restoration, sanctification, unfaithful, video

Worship with me..

I don’t know where you all are at spiritually this morning, but this is where I am at..so sharing a bit of my heart through video and CeCe Winans

We thirst for you..

Hallelujah is the highest praise…

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