Category Archives: Mothers Day

Happy Mother’s Day!

1.   My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE 
“If you’re going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.” 
 

2. My mother taught me RELIGION .   
“You better pray that will come out of  the carpet.” 

3.   My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL 
“If you don’t straighten  up, I’m going to knock  you into the middle of next week!” 
  

4. My mother taught me LOGIC 
“Because I said so, that’s why.” 

5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC .   
“If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you’re not going to the shop with me.” 

6.. My mother taught me FORESIGHT 
“Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you’re in an accident.” 

7. My mother taught me IRONY ..   
“Keep crying, and I’ll give you something to cry about.” 

8.   My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS 
“Shut your mouth and eat your  supper.” 

9. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM 
“Will you look at that dirt  on  the back of your neck!” 

10. My mother taught  me about STAMINA  . 
“You’ll sit there until all that spinach is gone.” 

11.   My  mother taught me about WEATHER 
“This room of yours  looks as if a tornado went  through it.” 

12. My mother  taught me about HYPOCRISY 
“If I told you once, I’ve told you a million times. Don’t exaggerate!” 

13. My mother taught  me the CIRCLE OF  LIFE .. 
“I brought you into this  world, and I can take you out.” 

14. My mother  taught me about BEHAVIOR  MODIFICATION 
“Stop acting  like your father!”   

15.   My mother taught me about  ENVY 
“There are millions of  less fortunate children in this world who don’t have wonderful parents  like you do.”   

16.   My mother  taught me about ANTICIPATION 
“Just wait until we get  home.”   

17.   My mother taught  me about  RECEIVING 
“You are going to get it when you get  home!” 

18. My mother   taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE 
“If you don’t stop crossing  your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way.”   

19. My mother taught me ESP 
“Put  your sweater on; don’t you think I know when you are cold?” 

20..   My mother taught me HUMOR
“When that lawn mower cuts off your toes,  don’t come running to me.” 

21. My  mother taught me HOW TO BECOME AN ADULT   
“If you don’t  eat your vegetables, you’ll never  grow up.” 

22.   My mother taught me  GENETICS .   
“You’re just like your  father.” 

23. My mother  taught me about my  ROOTS 
“Shut that door behind you.   Do you think  you were born in a barn?” 

24. My mother taught me WISDOM .   
“When you get to be my age, you’ll understand.”   

And my favorite:   
25.   My mother taught me about JUSTICE   .
“One day you’ll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!
 

 (the funniest thing about this is my daughter sent this to me…hahahaha )

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