Category Archives: Love

gave a fortuneteller a ticket…

(this is a true story, happened about 7 years ago)

While in Baltimore, MD’s Inner Harbor, i was confronted with a very hard truth, and although i didn’t understand it, and have really beaten myself up over it, and similar events in my Christ-follower life…while reading Fran’s post..God really spoke to my heart. and this is the story of how it is possible to take a huge step forward…and in the same hour..allow the flesh to drag you back…

i was in Baltimore MD’s Inner Harbor for a Beth Moore conference, i had an extra ticket, and lots of extra time to kill before the conference. we (the two other women with me) decided it would be a good idea to walk around Inner Harbor, and maybe we would find someone who would like to go and i could give them the ticket.  You know i could not give that ticket away, and it was soon time for us to get to the arena.  My heart was so pulled to go back to the mall, and give the ticket to the fortune teller…i know crazy..but Jesus loved her too, and we did make eye contact…the other women laughed at me, but reluctantly went with me…i entered her little tent/booth, and she said..”i know the future”, I replied ” i do too”, i then gave her the ticket, and told her to “please try to come, i know that God wants you to be there, HE loves you so”. her eyes softened, she smiled, and put it in her purse.

As i turned around i found that i was totally alone, the women had not only moved closer to the door, but went outside the mall…instantly my flesh was in a tizzy!  they started to make fun of me for doing what i did, and it didn’t stop there…when we got into the arena, it was very crowded…one of the women with me yanked at my ticket and said “are you sure there isn’t some demon you’d like to give this too?”…my ticket fell and people were walking on it…i had to scramble to get my ticket, then catch back up to them.  I was so angry, i wouldn’t look at them, i wouldn’t talk to them, i was wishing i wasn’t even there, and thinking of where else i could go to sleep so i could be far from them!

i just experienced the power of God, and the love of Jesus in a most beautiful way…and i could not show love to the church women who were with me…my heart sank, at a time when i wanted to be overjoyed in Christ, i was grieved not only by thier actions but by my own.

The next day at the last conference…at the altar call..i am sure that i seen her (the fortune teller) walk to the front and in all those people, i was amazed to see her, and to be so sure in my spirit that it was her.  I never seen her again, never had another conversation with her, but i believe i will see her when we all get to heaven.

Outreach, street people, homeless, underprivileged, drug addicts…God has put on my heart, i find them beautiful, i know HE loves them. But with out fail…i experience the presence of God, and then soon after i experience my flesh and the need for it to die more…i experience the anger of the enemy, and wonder why i don’t stand stronger at that time…i don’t pretend to know the mind of God, but i do know, that with each experience…i am learning to look more like Jesus and less like me…there is no room in my life with Christ, for pride, and a huge place for being humble.

if you get a chance to check out my awesome sista Fran’s blog..leave her a comment, and whole lotta luv!

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Filed under Beth Moore, bitterness, dying to self, God, Jesus, Kingdom living, life, Love, outreach, presence of God, princess entries

Surprised! its a trust issue

sometimes God uses the element of surprise to get straight to my heart, and been asking for that for sometime…a heart change.

on sunday our church played a clip with a guy speaking of his childhood, father murdered, mother suicide, and how he is today, still messed up (in my opinion) but learning to hold on to God and accept HIS plan for him. tough stuff…

of course the element of surprise hit quite a few notes in my heart…the enemy raced in to be his ignorant self.  didn’t hear too much of the service after that, but my emotions and thoughts seemed to go nuts!  while i fought to keep my mind focused, the LORD just spoke into my chaotic heart…soft and firm..”you don’t trust me”…that revelation that is mild in comparison of what others hear…was devastating to me.  you see i want to trust HIM, i know longer want to understand the past, and for long periods of time i am believing that i trust HIM.  Just a video of someone i didn’t even know, and just the words murder, suicide..disappointed at that moment that everything in my reacted so differently from what i believe.

God is walking this out with me…i understand Soveriegnty, i understand LOVE, but somehow my mind needs to grasp that HE is all of HIS attributes at once…the enemy needs shut out once and for all, and my trust in HIM should not be so easily shaken.

so today i rejoice in the fact that- i asked HIM to help my unbelief, i know that alot of areas where i fall down at is a result of unbelief…battled for months with where and why do i have this…and now i know…i don’t trust him with everything..do you? how do you do that? are you for real or just giving me the sunday school version because you know that? i know that too..then there is a heart connect, where words and actions should become one and the same..

asked God recently to spare anothers heart, and pleaded with HIM, to want to …odd huh?  and with in 45 minutes a phone call told me, the miraculous had happened in that persons life….again the soft voice…”princess trust me”

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Filed under finger of God, God, healing, heart, heart condition, hope, insecurity, life, Love, princess entries, trust

Pray 4 your children(bc you love them)

These are my children (playing with mom’s Mac).  Absolutely adore these three people, i would go so far as to say they are my most favorite people in the whole world! if you have children you understand in my heart in that statement.

Praying for our children is the one thing that they need the most.  Money is awesome and they love it..but not really what they need the most. All the things we struggle with in our adult life, they have started struggling with by 12 years old.  pier-pressure is the worst ever, the people they come in contact with as they find their way in the world are anything but kind, so many will try to define them, and cause them to look at their self differently than God says they are. then there is also the task of not only looking for a mate, but wanting a mate.

Pray for children..set a time aside each morning with your coffee to just lift each one up to HIM, lay them at HIS feet to grow them, to lead them, to bring them closer to HIM, to protect them, to help them make good choices, and to help them to believe HIM. Pray for that spouse that HE has already picked for them, pray they wait for the one HE has chosen.(this is not something we need to wait to pray for..start right now)

Children are a gift from God to us, we have such a short time to influence their life with good values, directing them to God, holding them and reassuring them of the love we have for them…then ultimately they will take their place where God has planned for them. it doesn’t cost anything but your time, and only a few minutes a day, to love them like no one else will ever love them..praying for them because we love them.

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Filed under children, God, life, Love, prayer, princess entries

Kisses from Heaven

Have you ever felt like you were on the receiving end of a kiss from Heaven?  Nothing like it! This day was one of those days!

Church service was awesome! I love when I show up and notice God moving around the place..and touching hearts like only HE can do! If that were all that happened today I would still feel like kisses from heaven.  But the day increasingly was full of HIM all around me! He knows how much i miss my friends that are far away. Altho, it wasn’t all of them, it was three contacts today from three different states, all just wanted to love on me, and yes! i was loving on them too!  God just knows and provides all that we need and desire.  From the time I left my home this morning, to this very moment (hanging with my family), HIS presence is incredible.  I am praying that you all know what that is like, and that you will very soon receive your own kisses from heaven. Peace

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Filed under encouragement, friendships, God, Heaven, Kingdom living, life, Love, presence of God, princess entries

Overwhelmed, in Awe

Sitting here before the LORD, and wondering what makes the Almighty Creator of all things give attention to my trivial every day life? I am grateful that HE does, and no doubt He has been showing off lots lately.

After a year of praying for my man to get a different job and to find a church family, God has provided both.  The new job starts in March, and in March a new opportunity to lead women has also opened.  Finding my heart and mind flat before the LORD…There comes a time in knowing Him that there is no words for what He does, and words are few….

In my human mind, i can not comprehend what HE is doing, or why He would want to save me from my past.  There will never be a day that i will be able to repay Him, and my surrender to HIS love for me is all that He is asking.  He wants all my dreary, shame-filled life in return for His everything..HE wants to be my everything..HE wants me to love Him with all my heart, soul, mind and strength.  He lifts my head in front of HIS other children, and I become broken.  He sings over me, He watches over me 24/7, my praise causes Him to dance over me, and at this very moment, i sense He is smiling and telling the Son, ” thats my girl, she believes me today”.

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Filed under Amazement, believe, finger of God, forgiveness, God, Grace, gratefulness, Identity, life, Love, mercy, Only One God, Peace, ponderisms, princess entries

Happy New Year…

Reflecting on the New Year that we are about to enter, so many things flood my mind. Good, Bad, indifferent, all definitely a part of living.  As I enter the New Year, I choose to remember these things…

**God is trustworthy

**God is loyal

**God is faithful

**God is never too busy

**God never forgets us for a second

**God wants the best for HIS children

**God’s glory will always shine

**God always has a plan

**God is love, and shares with me

**God provides for me, always

**My identity is found in HIM

**Everything falls on HOPE , FAITH, LOVE, GRACE, MERCY, and a never ending supply of all!

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Filed under Faithfulness, Grace, hope, life, Love, mercy, Only One God, ponderisms, princess entries, reflections