Category Archives: healing
There are times when quiet relection seems to be all that one can do, especially if you are a person who feels the need to do something. I am that type of person.
Lately a whole new level with the LORD has begun to open up, and following HIM is the only true option. Awareness has become a strong sense to me, and equally hard to describe. Looking in the the mirror, or a window, or water…the person who is reflected back to me, is new to me. My past seems to be seperated from me, and who i once was is a stranger to me. Healing? maybe…
Moving on with HIM, where ever this takes me. At times just surrending, lifting my arms to HIM and saying, “even if i resist, just take me”. Do you ever find yourself resisting? Wish i could say that i don’t, but too many times i do.
Its time to get on with this thing called Faith and believing, its time to blindly allow HIM to lead, and trusting that HE is good (not necessarily safe). In this time of reflection, HE reminds me over and over…”Believe me here, I do not fail you”…
This morning he woke me to a song that HE woke me with many years ago…and it touched my heart so deeply. The memories of that time flooded my heart, a time when HE was new to me, a time when things seemed very uncertain, and i time when i knew without a doubt that HIS arms and love flowed over me.
HE is the same God, yesterday, today, and forever, never changing…the God of my yesterday, today and forever…HE’s been there all along, and yes i do know HIM, and yes HE is believeable and trustworthy..
How long has it been that you have allowed silence into your home, nothing but the Word, nothing but Praise music? I promise you, its worth the effort, and a time of relecting always follows.
if you are interested this is the song that HE has waken me to…
Isaiah 57: 18,19(NLT)
18 I have seen what they do,
but I will heal them anyway!
I will lead them.
I will comfort those who mourn,
19 bringing words of praise to their lips.
May they have abundant peace, both near and far,”
says the Lord, who heals them.
So many questions, so many things on my mind, so many condemnations plaguing me. God knows every single thing I’ve ever done, including the thoughts that were less than pleasing to Him. Standing in Awe of how HE works and leads me to exactly what I need to come to closer to Him. That has been my prayer, as well as the reason for my silence on FB/twitter.
HE brought me back to a study HE prompted me to dig into…still stuck and wondering and praying…”I know you want me to know this, I just can’t pull it together”. Just the next day, I came across a study I worked through about 6 years ago. The title resonated with me, “Father, revive my heart…” So started working on that again…writing out my answers fresh and dating them, so i could see a difference in me from the time that past. HE showed me how much I have grown through the years, and how much pride HE has already taken away from me (still a ways to go tho).
My original study, writing my own study, on the “Holy Spirit”. The second page of “revive my heart” .. “Holy Spirit”…Church today..”we are starting a new study “Holy Spirit”. I absolutely love where He has led me to, and the way works to bring me closer…
HE knows what i did, and HE is going to heal me anyway! HE is going to lead me, and put HIS praise on my lips..I think I know how the woman at the well felt.
Resting tonight in His love for me, Knowing that healing is very close, believing that knowing HIM in God the Spirit is my missing link to pulling this faith walk together. Last weekend, I heard HIM say “no FB”, I had to be obedient. This week, has been overwhelming in revelations, and causing me to rejoice and tremble at the same time. My Holy, Supreme God is once again directing my steps…oh how HE loves..
sometimes God uses the element of surprise to get straight to my heart, and been asking for that for sometime…a heart change.
on sunday our church played a clip with a guy speaking of his childhood, father murdered, mother suicide, and how he is today, still messed up (in my opinion) but learning to hold on to God and accept HIS plan for him. tough stuff…
of course the element of surprise hit quite a few notes in my heart…the enemy raced in to be his ignorant self. didn’t hear too much of the service after that, but my emotions and thoughts seemed to go nuts! while i fought to keep my mind focused, the LORD just spoke into my chaotic heart…soft and firm..”you don’t trust me”…that revelation that is mild in comparison of what others hear…was devastating to me. you see i want to trust HIM, i know longer want to understand the past, and for long periods of time i am believing that i trust HIM. Just a video of someone i didn’t even know, and just the words murder, suicide..disappointed at that moment that everything in my reacted so differently from what i believe.
God is walking this out with me…i understand Soveriegnty, i understand LOVE, but somehow my mind needs to grasp that HE is all of HIS attributes at once…the enemy needs shut out once and for all, and my trust in HIM should not be so easily shaken.
so today i rejoice in the fact that- i asked HIM to help my unbelief, i know that alot of areas where i fall down at is a result of unbelief…battled for months with where and why do i have this…and now i know…i don’t trust him with everything..do you? how do you do that? are you for real or just giving me the sunday school version because you know that? i know that too..then there is a heart connect, where words and actions should become one and the same..
asked God recently to spare anothers heart, and pleaded with HIM, to want to …odd huh? and with in 45 minutes a phone call told me, the miraculous had happened in that persons life….again the soft voice…”princess trust me”
I have been struggling with myself while reading the book “So Long Insecurity”, by Beth Moore , there are times that I am sure God has freed me from a lot of my past, and at the same time I know there is still work to be done on my heart, and more healing is in order. Recently, I decided to lay the book down, my own thinking was, maybe i am just stirring a pot that doesn’t need stirred. But then I realized…by the mighty hand of God, that my insecurity was being afraid of looking back, afraid of falling in my walk (and i have done that), and allowing my doubt to run my life, or ruin it….have you never wondered…what if, this time i have really gone too far..
Today while coming home from a very long trying day, this song came on the radio…there in my car, God touched my heart, and every word of it felt like God speaking directly to me..wonder if anyone else may need to hear this too…you know…i always wanted to take HIS hand and walk on the water…i may just do that!