Category Archives: fear

Sleeping Through the Storms ~ by TheNorEaster

After several days of trying to pull my thoughts into words this gentleman has done it for me. With His permission I am reposting this. For more of his writing, you can find him here

 

“Suddenly, a fierce storm struck the lake, with waves breaking into the boat. But Jesus was sleeping. The disciples woke him up, shouting, ‘Lord, save us! We are going to drown!’

“Jesus responded, ‘Why are you so afraid? You have so little faith!’ Then he got up and rebuked the wind and waves, and suddenly there was a great calm.”

~Matthew 8:24-26 NLT

I get desperately exhausted every time I consider this passage. The miracle used to amaze me, but now something very different does: Jesus is sleeping.

Outside.

       


On a boat.

In the middle of a storm.

He has been serving God so diligently and so determinedly — and so passionately to the point of exhaustion — that the fierce winds and cold rains and frigid waves do not even phase Him as He sleeps.

He sleeps.
Finally, He sleeps.
At long last, He can get some rest.

I am amazed at the enormously immense burdens He must have carried that led Him to such a profound point of exhaustion. When I consider my own cross, it makes my head spin.

I’m tired.
All the time.
I’m so tired I’m just tired.

But, I can’t sleep through the storms. I see the winds and feel the rains. And my heart jumps every time the freezing waves wash over me. I can taste the salt in my sleep.

I sleep.
But, never rest.
My heart is just too heavy.

I know to be still and know. And I know to trust His sovereignty. That it will all work out in the grand scheme. And in the end. Greater good, and all that. All that.

But, the silence
of an impossible God
keeps up my heart restless.

The God who makes all things possible has created, to my own small mind, the impossible. And mine is a life so impossible I do not want to know what I know. Not anymore I don’t.

I can’t
even explain
what happened.

And while I always can find someone to listen, I know of no one who can understand, who has been where I am. Difficult to do, actually, since I do not even know where I am.

It’s a place
beyond broken, where
you drift in glorious defeat.

And it is a place where all arguments are absurd, every insult stems from the sin of pride, opinions are the nemesis of truth, and knowledge is completely meaningless.

And people who
do not understand
think you do not care.

And yet, you want so much to find some way to tell them that you do care, but the only words you can find to explain your defeat are that you don’t. That you don’t care.

Listen.
I do care.
All I do is care.

Ideals are the dreams of blind men. And I am just not a man consumed by the issues of the day. Nor am I the one to take up the cause of the moment. And I’ll tell you why.

Because
I am tired.
I’m so tired I’m just tired.

And I still can’t sleep through the storms. Instead, I am the man of the sea terrified by what I see. And I just want to wake Him up, to calm the storm so I can rest.

Yes, Lord,
I am terrified.
Please, let me rest.

 

 
 

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Filed under deliverance, faith, fear, God's plan, hope, insecurity, Kingdom living, life, NorEaster, princess entries

Exploring my gifts…

Today I spent the day with people I do not know, and two I have met briefly.  We explored our Gifts from God.  It was all very exciting, and informative. At the same time very humbling, and terrifying.  God does expect a return on those gifts for HIS glory. So many of mine, have laid untouched for a year. So its quite an understatement to say , “God has lit a fire under my butt”..but HE has.  For that I am grateful.  Also very repentant.

Would we allow any other gift to lay in a corner and not open it? not use it? not show some kind of excitement?

While thinking of how much of a disappointment I am to HIM, I realized that something else was going on in this room…

I was learning and seeing with my own eyes how each person has gifts that are not all the same, and we compliment each other very well. There was no pride or arrogance.  Unity filled the room.  Then HE nudged me… “you love them, don’t you? you are loving the body of Christ”  oh! i have prayed for that so long, and thought i would never sense that in a structured environment.

I love HIM so! Thankful for the gifts HE has given to me, and praying that I will grow into each one of them and use them for HIS glory.  HE always knows what I need, and always knows exactly how to encourage me!

Father God, you know the plans you have for me.  At times it terrifies me at all you have entrusted to me. Realizing that it because  I fear failing you. But You do not fail me.  Please help me to take my place in Your body, using the gifts you have given me, and overcoming the fears that I have. I love you LORD, and I am lifting up my gifts to you for your glory.  As you have said it will be…so will it be. Your Princess who is shaking her head, taking deep breaths as I dive in deeper…

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Filed under believe, fear, gifts, God, God's plan, journey, Kingdom living, life, mercy, prayer, princess entries, repentance, thankfulness, trust

Always wanted to walk on water

I have been struggling with myself while reading the book “So Long Insecurity”,  by Beth Moore , there are times that I am sure God has freed me from a lot of my past, and at the same time I know there is still work to be done on my heart, and more healing is in order.  Recently, I decided to lay the book down, my own thinking was, maybe i am just stirring a pot that doesn’t need stirred.  But then I realized…by the mighty hand of God, that my insecurity was being afraid of looking back, afraid of falling in my walk (and i have done that), and allowing my doubt to run my life, or ruin it….have you never wondered…what if, this time i have really gone too far..

Today while coming home from a very long trying day, this song came on the radio…there in my car, God touched my heart, and every word of it felt like God speaking directly to me..wonder if anyone else may need to hear this too…you know…i always wanted to take HIS hand and walk on the water…i may just do that!

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Filed under believe, Beth Moore, bondage, deception, deliverance, doubt, encouragement, Faithfulness, fear, God, healing, heart, hope, insecurity, life

take your place

IT’S TIME! time to stand up and be counted..what do you believe? who do you live for? where have you been? what have you learned? now take that information and tell it to who ever will listen, disregard the ones who won’t.

How very sad it would be if Jesus died to save us, and the result was merely fire insurance from hell. nothing more nothing less.  How sad it would be if the only thing that came from the pit we used to call home, was an occasional nod of the head, a quick smile, and “thats nice dear, just sit over there and we will all be so happy that Jesus left you in”.

Lately , i ‘ve been thinking of the woman in the Bible, and how God used them to further HIS plan.  He could have picked people who were all together…or was it  a matter of fact that none were all together? HE used them..prostitutes, idol worshippers, seductive, and schemers…beautiful, and pitiful, woman who had families that threw them away..the old testament is full of these kind…the new testament again…same kind of women..some plagued with illness, some curled up (from what it doesn’say..i can think of some things that curl me up), adulterers.

GOD felt it important to put them in there with their stories, for people to learn and see HIS grace, mercy, goodness, and although they made bad choices..HE used it for HIS glory.  We really need to stand up..we  really need to take a moment and just feel the thing…

the gentle touch of our savior, gently lifting our heads, softly speaking life into our very souls, and remembering…we are not who we were…we are HIS treasure, HE found great joy in saving us..HE delights in who we are becoming, HE see the finished person in us…How great is our GOD?  stand up and be counted..NO fear..NO shame..we don’t have to sit in the back…quietly..We have a seat right up front! “He prepares a table for us in the presence of our enemies”  sweet

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Filed under believe, deliverance, encouragement, fear, forgiveness, freedom, Glory of God, God, Grace, healing, hope, inheritance, Jesus, Kingdom living, legacy, life, mercy, princess entries

Uganda’s Invisible Children

Awareness starts with us, as we become aware we have a humanitarian right responsibility to pass on awareness. As a Christ follower, I am obligated to care about children…all children..all races, all sizes, all parts of the world.

As my own awareness grew in this part of the world, my heart breaks for these children, my anger flares against this government that chooses to pretend they are not there, and that this is not happening.  Do you know what is happening in Uganda? Go here and spend some time looking through the videos, google it..but please be aware, that children are being stolen to become a childrens army, killing machines or be killed, and the others who have not been stolen yet live in constant fear that they will.  Mother’s walk their children most of the day to get to a sanctuary that really is not fit for anything to live in, but they are together in a large group. They sleep there on the floor hundreds of them, and then they wake up and walk home and a couple hours will make the trip again to sleep.  They generally get something to eat once a day (if its a good day). They are the government of Uganda’s best kept secret.

Growing awareness is one way to help.  As more people know about these children, the government will be forced to care, not just in Uganda but in our own government, and countries around the world.  There are no figures how many have already died or how many have been taken, no one is counting, that makes it not happening..sooo very sad!  As a Christ follower, I have no choice but to care.  Jesus loves the children…He also said “I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was naked and you did not clothe me..Be gone from me”  I do not want to hear HIM say that to me. At the same time I look at their faces, and listen to their fear,  “these are children created in my image” goes through my mind over and over.  I am sure I will be updating this from time to time.  Praying that every one who reads this will find a way to raise awareness, to find a way to help.  They are children who should not have fear when they sleep that they will be taken, and killed if they cry, and forced to steal and kill more people.  A child Army..and the damage that is done to the ones that are killing….Please help the Invisible Children of Uganda…I can see them, can you?

This is how they sleep together, with a few adults looking over them with guns to try to protect them.

Child Soldier

Do what’s right, human rights are violated.  Created in the image of God…

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Filed under awareness, child soldiers, children, fear, human rights, humanitarian, image of God, Invisible Children, Uganda

Things R Not Necessarily as they Appear

I love some Old Testament! These are the books that show our Gods power and might, and faithfulness to those who BELIEVE HIM, and are busy about HIS work. HE is the same today, tomorrow, forever..I do believe this!  As the LORD brought me upon this section of scripture last night, I saw many many world issues we face today, not much different than this time period. I looked at the fear of the servant of Elisha, and we resemble him.  Fear in what is around us, and what appears to have taken control.  And I must tell you..things are not necessarily as the appear.  You  see, my GOD is in control, and although things may not unfold the way I want them to, it doesn’t change not one thing about HIM.  I love that knowledge! If we could see the war in the heavenlies all around us, how different would it be…I think it would change everything! But we walk by faith and not by sight…this I know..but maybe we do not ask for the right things, and then Believe it, without reservation…why? fear..Fear not for the LORD is with you!  I needed this, and thought I would share..

 

II Kings 6:15-19

15 When the servant of the man of God rose early in the morning and went out, behold, an army with horses and chariots was all around the city. And the servant said, “Alas, my master! What shall we do?” 16 He said, “Do not be afraid, for those who are with us are more than those who are with them.” 17 Then Elisha prayed and said, “O Lord, please open his eyes that he may see.” So the Lord opened the eyes of the young man, and he saw, and behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha. 18 And when the Syrians came down against him, Elisha prayed to the Lord and said, “Please strike this people with blindness.” So he struck them with blindness in accordance with the prayer of Elisha. 19 And Elisha said to them, “This is not the way, and this is not the city. Follow me, and I will bring you to the man whom you seek.” And he led them to Samaria.

This is the legacy I hand down to my children…you see, this same GOD/Yahweh, is also my ABBA/Daddy, I refuse to walk in fear, and I refuse to let my children think for one minute that their GOD is less than what the Bible says HE is..as a believer this is part of your legacy/family treasure..believe it, then pass it on…(we do have a rich heritage in Christ!)

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Filed under believe, Bible, Change, encouragement, Faithfulness, fear, finger of God, God, hope, legacy, life, princess entries, relationship