January 31, 2014 · 10:16 PM
Struggling for a year. Struggling with what it means – “God is husband to the widow”. I am fully aware that He does not interpret things as I do, and His ways are higher than mine, and so on. I know the theology. But what does that mean to me; a girl, lost without her soulmate, a mother who desperately wants to continue to point her children to what is eternal and not temperal, working harder than ever?
One year ago, God spoke to me. “I will be your husband , I will take care of you, this is bigger than you know, believe me”. He has taken care of me, life is hard but it continues to come together. Blessed in the midst of heart ache.
-Grieving does not require anyone to fix me, I am not that kind of broken.
-climbing up on His lap, and holding on, hiding in Him, is my comfort.
-He gives me what I need, a job with amazing people, a free place to take my children to get away. (that is the nicest place i have ever stayed.) Money to live and meet my responsibilities.
-He gives me what thrills my heart. A spectacular sunset, a bird singing, sunshine, warm temperature in the middle of the frozen east coast.
How does all this tie together? He is the lover of my soul. His bride is in pain, her heart breaks over and over. He promises to dry every tear, but first there must be tears to dry. We are promised victory, but first there is a battle.
Today I found a ring, that fits like it was made for me, instant love for this ring. Decided I will wear it, and remember He is my husband, and we are not home yet. This is all part of Kingdom living…
Filed under battles, believe, Blessed, God's plan, healing, hope, Kingdom living, life, loss, ponderisms, presence of God, princess entries, provision, relationship
December 3, 2013 · 6:08 AM
Filed under Authenticity, battles, convictions, follow, forgive, Grace, heart condition, heavy heart, Jesus, journey, life, loss, mercy, princess entries
January 17, 2012 · 11:25 AM
“Jesus loves me this I know, for the Bible tells me so.” Do you know what it is like to have a week that mentally there is not an ounce of reason left, and you really feel like something that cat drug in from the yard? I have been on that rollercoaster this week. With all my knowledge of God, sometimes the best I could come up with was a song I learned as a young child-“Jesus loves me”. But what truth is in that song!
Somehow I need to express something very important to my readers, especially believers. There are times in this walk that are not pretty, and are very exhausting. The enemy waits for this to happen so that he can pounce on us and kick, and dig into our empty places and create turmoil within us. Sometimes the Lord allows it for a time, but only if HE plans to bring something good out of it. We need to remember above all else, that HE loves us, and does not ever leave us. We need to stop praying to be delivered from ever little thing that causes us discomfort, and start praying to learn what ever we have been brought here to learn. It is truly the purifying fire. We go through hard times to become more like HIM. I have been stuck this week on some different scriptures, that all seem to point to “who do we think we are? Do we really think we will have an easier life than Jesus had on earth? Do we think we are greater than our master? Do we think we can pick and choose scripture to be obedient too?” If you never have stepped out of the bubble of the physical church and touched a heart with kindness, or opened the door for someone struggling…you may not understand why the enemy would want to rip and tear at any one person. If you are not ever experiencing struggles and enemy attack, then I am going to beg you to pray and ask HIM if there is anything standing between you and HIM. I have found that HE will answer quickly.
If you do know what I am talking about…then come to the ONE who can satisfy, and restore. I love that when I feel like the enemy lays me at HIS feet and laughs…my Jesus picks me up and cleans me up and bandages all the wounds, dresses me in the finest clothing, adorns me jewels, and we dance. Surrounded in the most awesome love. I love that HE wraps HIM self around me and HIS strength is apparent to my heart. HE calls me to sleep there, and covers me with HIS robe. HE sings over me. HE reminds me that although it looks like the enemy wins some battles, he has already lost the war!! Does that do good for anyone else’s heart?? It encourages mine greatly.
the enemy is a liar, and he means no one any good thing. Thank you for carrying us when we are to weak to walk anymore. Thank you for filling us with your peace and your joy, that you gladly give to us, when asking. Thank you for being just a cry away, and for intervening on our behalf. Thank you for always bringing something good out of the bad. You truly have our best interest at heart. I am amazed at how high and deep and wide is your love for us. Give us a hunger for more of you, even and foremost in the worst of circumstances. Might we only want you, stretch out our arms and reach for the only One who will ever love us unconditionally, and delights in just hearing our voice directed at HIM. We are desperate for you. Things will only get worse in this world, teach us to hide ourselves in you. You are the only God and there is no other…make it so in our hearts.
your daughter, and princess, who knows there is no life away from you.
(this is a repost from 2007, funny how we seem to go full circle, and here I am again. Thought of rewriting it, but I just couldn’t…Stay close to the ONE who is the safest place to land)
Filed under Abundant Grace, battles, believe, blessings, deliverance, God, healing, hope, Jesus, journey, Kingdom living, life, princess entries, safe place
December 29, 2010 · 8:56 PM
Ever find yourself still, staring at a wall? Can’t get over it? Can’t get around it? not sure how you even ended up here?
Been looking and struggling with this wall for quite some time..days have turned to months, months are quickly turning to years…
The need to evaluate, and re-evaluate is imperative. The questions that come to mind are scary, and very transparent of the heart. I’ve been shamed for being at this wall, accused of some horrific sin, dismissed as a backslider…..yet I am exactly where God wants me to be. HE is shredding my legalistic views, HE is stirring my bitterness to eliminate it, HE is still in control…even here. Only when HE has finished with the extremely painful heart surgery, will HE see me to the other side.
Funny, how we are so quick to judge another at the wall. How quickly we dismiss what we don’t understand. So often we claim to know what God is doing in another. We even claim to know and understand God. *sigh*
God is not created in man’s image, we don’t even have a conclusive definition of “Holy”, yet we claim it. I absolutely hate looking at this wall…and at the same time…I believe HE has a plan that is more awesome than anything I could dream up.
HE promised to never leave me…
HE promised to finish the work HE started in me…
HE promised to never let go…
Simple promises. Holding on to them with all I got. Hoping that when I get to the otherside of this wall, that my concept of HIM will have grown in huge proportions. “I will wait patiently on the LORD”…HE is faithful, even when I am not.
Ever been here? what did you learn if you have been? Maybe you are there now. If so, how do you keep looking up?
“Therefore there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ”
Filed under battles, bitterness, finger of God, God, God's plan, heart, heart condition, hope, image of God, journey, judging, Kingdom living, Legalism, life, ponderisms, princess entries, suffering
November 21, 2010 · 1:16 PM
A good friend of mine has posted on Abortion from a man’s perspective, responsibility, and seeking to prevent the reasons that women would do this. Its refreshing to see men take their place, own what is theirs, and want to provide and protect their families. Men I encourage you to take a look at these posts found here. Women , I encourage you to also read, and be encouraged by what God is doing.
What are your thoughts? Do men have anything at all to do with this? Can they make a difference? As these men take their place to make a difference, Women…its ultimately your choice.
Father God, i lift up our country to you. We have been silent while the slayings of innocent life is being condoned. You have knit together each one of those babies in the wombs of those women, you have a plan we can not fathom. At the same time you are not surprised by all this, and you knew we would make such terrible choices. Praising you for the way you are raising up the men, showing them how to make a difference, and ultimately giving women hope. That is so like you to take a terrible situation and make it glorious. Your Princess who is elated to see you working in this area
April 18, 2010 · 9:07 AM
wondering if you know…
battling with self injury or any type of addiction is…
an uphill battle
in the dark
getting back up
requires incredible determination
a little encouragement daily
God is capable and willing to deliver us…HE is also…at times…interested in seeing us fight the thing out, and believe that it will be worth it when we reach the top…if you know somesome struggling with this, and you know they are a new believer…
Showing them their failures and scripture to back that up is not helping…encourage them to keep trying, admit that the climb is tough, remind them that God has not given up on them, and HE is not sick of them and their falling…HE loves them, and is teaching them more of who HE is and who they are to HIM…
Look what HE taught Joshua and the Isrealites in Joshua 9-10….amazing they found their selves in a place, due to someone elses sin…and stumbling and mumbling they did…and the Glory of God they saw!
Filed under addiction, battles, Bible, drugs, encouragement, Glory of God, God, hope, Kingdom living, life, princess entries, random thoughts, self-injury, struggles