Monthly Archives: January 2014

Wearing His Ring

Struggling for a year. Struggling with what it means – “God is husband to the widow”. I am fully aware that He does not interpret things as I do, and His ways are higher than mine, and so on. I know the theology.  But what does that mean to me; a girl, lost without her soulmate, a mother who desperately wants to continue to point her children to what is eternal and not temperal, working harder than ever?

One year ago, God spoke to me. “I will be your husband , I will take care of you, this is bigger than you know, believe me”.  He has taken care of me, life is hard but it continues to come together. Blessed in the midst of heart ache.

Pondering:

-Grieving does not require anyone to fix me, I am not that kind of broken.

-climbing up on His lap, and holding on, hiding in Him, is my comfort.

-He gives me what I need, a job with amazing people, a free place to take my children to get away. (that is the nicest place i have ever stayed.) Money to live and meet my responsibilities.

-He gives me what thrills my heart.  A spectacular sunset, a bird singing, sunshine, warm temperature in the middle of the frozen east coast.

How does all this tie together? He is the lover of my soul. His bride is in pain, her heart breaks over and over. He promises to dry every tear, but first there must be tears to dry. We are promised victory, but first there is a battle.

Today I found a ring, that fits like it was made for me, instant love for this ring. Decided I will wear it, and remember He is my husband, and we are not home yet. This is all part of Kingdom living…

IMG_0280

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Filed under battles, believe, Blessed, God's plan, healing, hope, Kingdom living, life, loss, ponderisms, presence of God, princess entries, provision, relationship

sunset calming

sunset calming

Healing comes in all shapes, sizes, colors. Oh Lord continue to heal and restore.

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January 31, 2014 · 7:42 PM

Scared-ummm yeah

God is always faithful, even when I am not.  I do not deserve his constant love and patience, it is very humbling to begin to understand Grace.  Drama has been cut from my life, and it is easier to focus and see daily living and making choices. Oh, I still have days of tears, and struggles with fear.  But I am learning…

Its okay to be scared, God doesn’t let go of me.

Life is okay, and God is the one that makes it that way.

Conversations with the Creator of the Universe is unexplainable.  Peace and comfort by the truckloads when ever I need it. But I do have to ask for it.

As far as I am from figuring this life all out, I know the One who already knows how it ends. Learning to trust Him.

HE reassures me that all I have been thru this last year, the ones who caused more grief will answer to Him, and the ones who have blessed my life will be blessed.

These are daily lessons. Lessons on a new level than I experienced before.

I am His beloved, and He is mine.  Definitely not how I saw my life at this age, but definitely more than I imagined this year.

Thank you for your prayers, and keep them coming….

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Filed under Acceptance, awareness, Change, family, healing, hope, journey, Kingdom living, life, loss, Love, Next New Normal, ponderisms