Daily struggles with my own identity. hate it…
Its easy to quote scripture, and recite well meaning advice.
Difficult to make a heart connection.
Lately, I bring to the table, my fears, my anxiety, my future, and my heart.
My past is awful, who would want to be part of such a person?
Now the awful “W” word stalks me at every turn…
as if it defines me somehow. hate it!
Insecurity and rejection have been my greatest fears…when did this happen?
Again, I bring it to the Only One who knows, and the Only One who can help me.
As I look for myself in all the new things in my life, I pray to be found in Him. I also pray to be delivered from all the titles that have been given me over the years. I pray to feel beautiful, and to feel like I belong again. Life was so much easier when love lived here…not sure that will happen for me again, but I can’t fear rejection. There is no life in fear…perfect love casts out fear. How does that work with a damaged heart, and a horrific past.
He brought me here this evening as I searched my heart for my own motives in my choices…
Isaiah 54:4,5 Living Translation
Fear not, you will no longer live in shame,
Don’t be afraid; there is no more disgrace of your youth
and the sorrows of widowhood.
For your Creator will be your husband;
the LORD of Heaven’s Armies is his name!
Thank you God, for calming my heart, and giving me the strength to come this far, I am never rejected by you. Help me to be satisfied with this truth, Its not the end of my life, its the beginning…