Daily Archives: October 15, 2013

Not the end, just the beginning…

Daily struggles with my own identity. hate it…

Its easy to quote scripture, and recite well meaning advice.

Difficult to make a heart connection.

Lately, I bring to the table, my fears, my anxiety, my future, and my heart.

My past is awful, who would want to be part of such a person?

Now the awful “W” word stalks me at every turn…

as if it defines me somehow. hate it!

Insecurity and rejection have been my greatest fears…when did this happen?

Again, I bring it to the Only One who knows, and the Only One who can help me.

As I look for myself in all the new things in my life, I pray to be found in Him.  I also pray to be delivered from all the titles that have been given me over the years.  I pray to feel beautiful, and to feel like I belong again. Life was so much easier when love lived here…not sure that will happen for me again, but I can’t fear rejection. There is no life in fear…perfect love casts out fear.  How does that work with a damaged heart, and a horrific past.

He brought me here this evening as I searched my heart for my own motives in my choices…

Isaiah 54:4,5  Living Translation

Fear not, you will no longer live in shame,

Don’t be afraid; there is no more disgrace of your youth

and the sorrows of widowhood.

For your Creator will be your husband;

the LORD of Heaven’s Armies is his name!

Thank you God, for calming my heart, and giving me the strength to come this far, I am never rejected by you. Help me to be satisfied with this truth, Its not the end of my life, its the beginning…


Filed under random thoughts