grief process

So many things one must experience in the grief process. None are easy.  Constantly missing and wanting someone who will never walk thru the door again.  If that is not enough to cause stress, suddenly you take his place in parenting, providing, and comforting others. After 50 days of working like crazy to pull things together, talking to people to receive help, many who treat you as if you are scamming them, things slow down to the beginning of a new normal.  Without a doubt, God has brought us through all of it. Many people helped us financially without any gain for them self.

As things get quiet…realizing all your dreams have disappeared with your loss.  New dreams seem almost impossible. A huge void opens.  Clinging to the only One who can help and who understands fully.  Moments of peace. 

Sleep is what I need, instead, I wake up in the middle of an anxiety attack which is foreign to me. Crying , shaking, finding it difficult to breathe.

I truly do not understand this part. It may be normal, I may have to go thru this.  It just seems like another pill for me, and I am looking forward to restoration. I still believe, He is going to rescue me.

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