King or Genie? (revisited)

It seems that we (and I include myself) forget that our God is righteous, Holy, pure, and loving. Dressed in Majesty, ruling not only the earth but the Heavens as well. We definitely have down the power that HE has, but seem to see HIM as a genie. How HIS heart must break when HE sees us totally blowing HIM off, and then asking HIM for miracles. As I pray to see things through HIS eyes, I am forced to look at my life first.

How would we respond to someone who only ever shows up to ask for money, or for us to help them out of rough spots? Knowing that the person will not even as much as talk to us otherwise? We would not respond well, we might even disregard that person. God doesn’t do that, HE continues to sit beside us and wait for us to acknowledge HIM. I believe that HIS heart breaks that we forget HIM so quickly in our lives, and that we compromise our relationship with HIM for momentary pleasures of this world. As my reading is in Isaiah this week, the picture of my culture is on the pages…this is not ancient history, we are repeating it. If we were exiles like Daniel, or the others, which kind would we be. Would we be angry with the Lord for not sparing us when we thought we were believing, and deserving of life without suffering, or would we be more like Daniel and believe that we must continue to walk in HIS light, and bow hearts and bodies to our KING, believing we are exactly where HE wants us to be for HIS glory? I am praying that I would be more like Daniel…remembering that if God allows pain and suffering to come to me, HE will be glorified in it, and therefore I am blessed!

While looking over my past recently, I am so very thrilled at the picture of Love that Jesus has shown me! Not only did HE love me through it all, HE takes the bad and makes it good! Amazing how HIS heart just doesn’t change. I saw a sign outside of a church recently that really spoke to me…”If you are feeling that God is far away, guess who moved?” God is good all the time, and HE never moves! Unshakeable!

So as we move into the weekend with all the pleasures this world offers, my goal is to just remember that HE is here, and not to be rude…talk to HIM, include HIM, and not entertain things that would cause HIM to sit outside to wait for me. HE is not a genie, HE is my KING, my best Friend, my Creator, and HE chooses to be with us.

Father forgive us for our ungrateful hearts, and change our hearts. Make us more like you, give us more of you and less of us. Help our unbelief, and remind us through the day of who we are in you, and who you are to us. Please don’t let this world desensitize us. Give us great hunger for your Word. How rude we have been when haven’t talk to you, and yet ask for so many things. We don’t deserve You, You freely give yourself. I am honored that you call me child, and have given me a new name…Please help us to be aware of the snares that are around us and to stay on the path that you have laid out for us…we want to stay in your shadow…the only shadow that provides Light! Love you love you love you, your princess

Sour Patch Kids (Jesus loves them)

For the last 4.5 months I have been transporting 7 boys to an Alternate Education, similar to Juvenile/school.  They have been kicked out of school. The youngest was in 9th grade, the oldest in 11th.  Honestly, I wasn’t sure how it was going to go.  They are with me an 1.25 hours each way.  I heard lots of discouraging things about these boys.  But I took the keys, and decided…if God brings me to it, God will see me thru it.

It took a short time for us to get a mutual understanding that this is what it is.  I explained to them I will respect them, they need to respect me.  They are capable of being sour little goofballs, and then just kids with sweet hearts.  So I named them “sour patch kids”.  

They are aware I call them that, and they like it! hahaha  On fridays, I throw them bags of Sour Patch Kids.  They call me “busdriver”, “sic”, “legit”….on most days they say good morning, and have a good day…thats alot for these boys.   I have not had any problems with them. I try to be intentional always, a smile, use their name, try to be a safe person to be with.  Funny, that is on my heart with them, when others see them as the unsafe.  Altho I can not speak of my belief system to them, I believe that kindness and repect will linger.  God’s kindness leads us to repentance.

Yummmmm sour patch kids…. Jesus loves them too.

Priorities, Changes, Oh My!

No walls this time, but definitely a fork in the road.  One is a little rocky, and not too pleasant to the eye, but the other is closed.  So I am taking the only road I can.  Maybe its just the “unknown” factor that makes this new road less appealing….

I have allergies.  They cripple my lifestyle to an extent.  I have to be careful how much time I spend outside, My AC runs constantly  to filter the allergens in my home. There is no medication that brings me 100% relief.  The medication I do take is the same as a car payment every month.  

God has blessed me with a job that works with all this. No weekends, and no summers, unless I feel up to a day here or there.

Why am I sharing this? I really don’t want to.  I keep it to myself and try to be as healthy as I can.  My allergies are getting worse.  They cause me to have sinus migranes, and literally make me sick. My symptoms are heart pounding, shortness of breath, head pounding, and stomach turning.  I have no warning when that will happen, and whatever plans I may have made come to an immediate halt.  Overall, when telling someone that I can not participate in an activity, I get the “look”.  I have become a person that many can not count on.  Its heart breaking, and disappointing to say the least. Tiring in trying to explain.

After struggling with all this means to my life, and having lots of conversations with God on this matter, I am believing that He wants something else from me. Outreach can come to my door, and He has shown me that.  I don’t know where all this is going…don’t know if I am supposed to return to writing.  But I do know that my family is a gift from God.  I want to use my energies in being a good wife, and a good mom, and the best Mimi I can be. 

I do love my church, and I get there as often as I can.  Opening a new chapter to my life….

Priorities, Changes, Oh my!   So glad God knows what He is doing, I am just going to rest in HIM.