(this is a true story, happened about 7 years ago)
While in Baltimore, MD’s Inner Harbor, i was confronted with a very hard truth, and although i didn’t understand it, and have really beaten myself up over it, and similar events in my Christ-follower life…while reading Fran’s post..God really spoke to my heart. and this is the story of how it is possible to take a huge step forward…and in the same hour..allow the flesh to drag you back…
i was in Baltimore MD’s Inner Harbor for a Beth Moore conference, i had an extra ticket, and lots of extra time to kill before the conference. we (the two other women with me) decided it would be a good idea to walk around Inner Harbor, and maybe we would find someone who would like to go and i could give them the ticket. You know i could not give that ticket away, and it was soon time for us to get to the arena. My heart was so pulled to go back to the mall, and give the ticket to the fortune teller…i know crazy..but Jesus loved her too, and we did make eye contact…the other women laughed at me, but reluctantly went with me…i entered her little tent/booth, and she said..”i know the future”, I replied ” i do too”, i then gave her the ticket, and told her to “please try to come, i know that God wants you to be there, HE loves you so”. her eyes softened, she smiled, and put it in her purse.
As i turned around i found that i was totally alone, the women had not only moved closer to the door, but went outside the mall…instantly my flesh was in a tizzy! they started to make fun of me for doing what i did, and it didn’t stop there…when we got into the arena, it was very crowded…one of the women with me yanked at my ticket and said “are you sure there isn’t some demon you’d like to give this too?”…my ticket fell and people were walking on it…i had to scramble to get my ticket, then catch back up to them. I was so angry, i wouldn’t look at them, i wouldn’t talk to them, i was wishing i wasn’t even there, and thinking of where else i could go to sleep so i could be far from them!
i just experienced the power of God, and the love of Jesus in a most beautiful way…and i could not show love to the church women who were with me…my heart sank, at a time when i wanted to be overjoyed in Christ, i was grieved not only by thier actions but by my own.
The next day at the last conference…at the altar call..i am sure that i seen her (the fortune teller) walk to the front and in all those people, i was amazed to see her, and to be so sure in my spirit that it was her. I never seen her again, never had another conversation with her, but i believe i will see her when we all get to heaven.
Outreach, street people, homeless, underprivileged, drug addicts…God has put on my heart, i find them beautiful, i know HE loves them. But with out fail…i experience the presence of God, and then soon after i experience my flesh and the need for it to die more…i experience the anger of the enemy, and wonder why i don’t stand stronger at that time…i don’t pretend to know the mind of God, but i do know, that with each experience…i am learning to look more like Jesus and less like me…there is no room in my life with Christ, for pride, and a huge place for being humble.
if you get a chance to check out my awesome sista Fran’s blog..leave her a comment, and whole lotta luv!