There has been an intense struggle the last few months. Its over. My thinking was twisted, due to following man rather than God. Sounds harsh….but the truth is, my own longing to belong to the body of Christ, and my own thinking on what that is exactly, caused me to only hear what man more educated than me has to say about that. That was my first mistake…God has always been there to teach me and to lead me, and I believed that HE was handing me off to someone. My worst fear became a reality. The fire for Christ and to spread the Gosple began to die down. After trying to talk through it with a man, I realized he did not understand me, and I have been judged. Is this all part of God’s plan? yes. My longing to be part of..was off. I already am part of the body of Christ. When I get hurt by the “believers”, I tend to take that out on the ONE i love the most. (They said i was part of their family..me..the one who never really had a family..so what do I know about this..apparently nothing. Please do not take this as a slam on the church, I don’t believe they are wrong, yet I also believe that God wants my attention, and now HE has it.) God changed my husbands schedule forcing us to walk another direction, because HE loves us, and HE knows what HE is doing, and me..not so much.
The LORD has brought me back to HIS side, reminding me that I am never alone, and HE never tires of me asking questions, and HE never feels like HE has invested too much time in me. Just the opposite, HE wants to invest time in me. HE used my daughter this week to show me videos, that actually broke through my fog I have been walking in, and I am sharing them with you. In the order that I have them in, is the conversation between me and God. I hope it helps your heart too, where ever you may be on this road. No one trumps God, and what HE has spoken to your heart. And no one can know or discern your heart without investing time in you. God is the only ONE who truly knows your heart..follow HIM.
For some reason the one that speaks my heart the best in this struggle will not embed..sooo if you would like to hear it go here