All my life I believed that there was a GOD, I just didn’t believe HE was very interested in me. Actually I believed HE hated me. I set out to be a better person and to raise my children with a knowledge of HIM, and a hope that HE would be interested in them. My heart was striving to be a good wife, as I knew little about that, and had married the man who seemed to always be there and genuinely liked me. Love, yes we loved, or what we knew of love at that time.
After returning to a church after 20 years of ignoring it, still attending hoping HE would look down and have mercy on my children, and give them some kind of blessing. Although I had been educated in the Bible, there was no connection to my heart. Often I asked questions like, “What is Grace?”, “What is unforgivable?” “Why do we say Hope, and think of a positive?” I rarely got an answer that made any sense to me. So I knew of HIM, but had yet to experience HIM.
Our marriage was falling apart, drugs and alcohol numbed the pain, while still being functional, and wearing a mask. The LORD pulled me closer, and I cried out to HIM, kneeling (had not done that since I was a little girl), and begging. “Please, don’t let all this fall down, don’t take him from me, even if you hate me, surely you love my children, I will do anything..Please”. That was the moment I experienced HIM for the first time, undeniably! HE wrapped me up in HIM, the warmth and the love that enveloped me was incredible and the first time that I had ever felt anything like it. Joy filled my heart, HE loved me, HE really loved me…
The next day, sitting in my room, not wanting to leave whatever just happened, HE spoke to my heart, that I needed to read the Bible. The only Bible I had was a Dollar Store $5 KJV Bible (I carried to church to look appropriate). My response was “okay, but I really don’t understand any of it, I need you to help me understand, I don’t even know where to start..” Somehow, I bumped the Bible and it fell to the floor, and laid open, and this is what caught my eye and my attention.
Proverbs 9:10 “The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom; the knowledge of the holy is understanding.”
This is the beginning of our Awesome God being the Lifter of my Head.
ponderings of a princess... 
Wow! Now that’s Power! Love reading stories like this one! Be blessed my friend!
I get a blessing every time I hear you share your heart – you have a great heart – did you know papa loves you?
Toby- as always great to see you here! amazing huh? we serve such a powerful God, and HE chooses to use us. standing in awe!
Papa- you are one of my blessings from God, and I love that you love me!
WOW. Wow. God is an amazing God.
wow.
Thank you for sharing more of your story. Every time I’m filled with wonder at how He stepped into your life and brought you closer to Him.
He loves us, Darla!! Amazing.
It’s amazing how God will bide his time and pick his moments to get through to us – despite our best efforts to muck it up.
Sorry I been MIA, just not feeling real well, and got stuck with my bus in the snow storm from 6 am til 3:30 pm..so just getting some rest, but will be back later today.
We do serve an Awesome GOD, and everything is in HIS timing, and we just have to believe that!
Yo Sis.. Thank you for sharing.
Have you seen these yet? http://www.iamsecond.com/
Every one of them are must watches. Make sure you watch this one.
http://www.iamsecond.com/#/seconds/Brian_Welch/
The power of God is at work in your, and he will continue to mold you for a life time.
Peace and love sis.
wow, what a powerful story.
Inspirational D 🙂
if i might put another perspective on your last statement in your post?…
This was when YOU may have first felt was ‘the beginning’…
God was working in you/with you long before that 🙂 but you had to ‘be’ in a certain place before you were able to see/feel/appreciate that for what it was/is.
The important part ( for you) is that you HAVE ‘begun’ 🙂
and it shows 🙂
<B
All of you are a gift from God to me! I am very encouraged. Thank you!
(thanks Love, it worked, and it is on my side bar..you rock!)
Praying for you. You must be one sick mamma. No new post from you in four days…that’s unheard of.
Get rest. Drink that Apple Cider Vinegar. 😯
Love you, Darla. 😉
there is nothing more beautiful to me than people sharing exactly who they are and where theyve come from. we can not deny who we’ve been. its a part of our testimony. a part of the big picture that brings us to where we are.
and talk about getting scooped up from the pit. this is rooftop shouting worthy! i love it when you share your heart like this….thank you, prin!
i love you!!
my first day on the puter this week, and Tam, you make me smile! love you Princess, and love waking up and finding a line of Tam pics..