Down to the Bottom/Lifter of my head IV

(you can find the beginning of this story on the page listed the same as this title- thank you Ellen at Stormstories for your encouragement to day to tell this part.

Five years or so passed before I started to seriously date for relationship.  I just didn’t want a man around with all the drama that seemed to be part of that. My baby girl was my world.  I still partied but not extensively (so I felt that was acceptable), I did not party in front of my daughter, and men were not allowed to come to my home. That was our refuge from the world.

Eventually I gave in to a young man, a farmer(go head laugh, I know you want to). I was so desperate for something to be the way it should. (God was already working on my heart, I was tired of living under the curse)  Life seemed good for a while, and he had a son, so I took him in like my own.  Soon, he was drunk everyday, and missing work. It was nothing to come home and find the electric turned off, or all my food eaten by his drunken buddies who were now sleeping on my floor, at 4 in the afternoon.  He started to beat me when I was sleeping, (with good reason, I tore him up awake)for things that I later found out he was doing.  Long story short..I caught him with my best friend, so I lost them both the same day. I never felt pain like that of betrayal. And it felt like my heart had been cut out and left laying for me to look at.  By this time I have two girls and a son that is not mine.  I tried to work through it with him, and no friend…but it increasing got worse. My pain and his actions. He soon had several girlfriends, and told my girls to call me names. He did this in front of me, and it broke my heart even more to hear them call me names out of those precious little mouths.  This time my girls(71/2, 1) and his son(6) watched me push him through a door, and beat him til the police arrived. All charges were dropped. (Thank you Jesus)

My only friend left in the world worked with me, and saw me go through all this, broken ribs, tears that seemed they would not end.  This friend helped me move out while he was at work (another thank you Jesus for him going to work), and helped me set up a new place to live.  This friend was there for me, and seemed to have no motives other than he liked me, just like I was.  I had no idea that he would become the wonderful husband that I have today! (Again thank you Jesus)

I could not write this part of my story for a long time. I could not articulate exactly why. I had forgiven him, and I had moved on with Jesus Christ, I just couldn’t tell this part.  Recently, I was pulled into court to see him face to face over a support order that is now 14 years old. I never took full support, and only asked for 325 a month to cover the sitter expenses, no medical support, nothing else. It was raised to 425 a month 6 years ago by the state.  I totally fell apart knowing that I had to see him again. The rejection, and betrayal seemed to surface, and I needed Jesus to go with me.  Turned out he needed a favor, and for me to lower the support to keep him out of jail.  I asked him to sign her over to us and I would drop the support all together. Forgiving the debt and the one that was past due.  He agreed. 

I looked at this man, and knew that GOD had made such a change in my heart. I no longer looked at him with contempt, I looked at a broken man who needed Jesus. I told him that.  “Jesus is the only one who can fix your problems, and you should really take some time and talk to HIM, it’s working for me..” He shook his head thanked me, and said “who would’ve thunk”. 

God heals the hurts, HE binds up the wounds, and when it is most uncomfortable for me, HE has a plan that is worth following HIM into.  (My next entry to this will be my story of when I came to Christ and made a commitment, and How that changed everything,..truly lifting my head)

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19 Comments

Filed under bitterness, blessings, deception, deliverance, family, forgiveness, freedom, God, Grace, healing, heart, Humility, Jesus, life, loss, Only One God, princess entries, restoration, storms, suffering, testimony, unfaithful, unforgiveness

19 responses to “Down to the Bottom/Lifter of my head IV

  1. Darla….

    wow.

    God.

    Thanking God for you, princess…

  2. graciehill48

    We have much in common. Not just the hurts and events, but the God who is faithful. love you

  3. Darla … your story is so amazing. I know these things happen every day in America … but … I got to know the Darla that you are now … and the transformation is really so complete and so incredible – you’d hardly know it was the same person! The power of God really is amazing. That HE can reach down anywhere, anytime, to anyone, and LIFT them out … amazing. Glory to God. I love you, Darls!!

    PS: I hope I’m not coming across wrongly … I’m not trying to say one single thing about your past, just … I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who’s life is so COMPLETELY transformed like yours. It is a beauty to behold. Such a testimony. Such a hope. You make this God-life more desirable, you know that? It looks tantalizing on you. It makes a soul feel thirsty. :_) That’s a very very good thing.

  4. bajanpoet-I thank God for you! you have helped more than you know!

    Gracie- God is faithful, and is always good! learning to hold on tight to HIM has been a hard lesson, but HE is the first place i run now! love you too

    Annie- I am even amazed when I look back and write some of these things, and I stand in AWE of our AWESOME GOD, no denying, HE can and will take any heart that will bow down to HIM, and change it competely. My testimony for the Glory of GOD. love you too!

  5. Hey darla long time no speak! Thank you for sharing such an intimate and sensitive testimony. Its always encouraging to see where God has brought people from. I look forward to hearing more soon!

  6. Rehanna – como esta?? I need to hook up with you..maybe email tomorrow or IM?? love you haven’t forgot you…I do need a Rehanna fix!

    Papa- I LOVE YOU too…heart to heart..

  7. HW

    Oh, Darla… I love you. Thank you for sharing more of your testimony. I’m amazed again at the awesome God we serve!

  8. You are beautiful, Darla. Your heart amazes me. Your outlook is refreshing. Your will seems to be so much His will. I love you. You are a perfect picture of His grace.

  9. TheNorEaster

    Thanks for sharing another chapter in your Storm Story, Darla. Could I provide a link in your post on my site?

    Truly, Ellen’s iron has sharpened your iron…

    …and I pray you will sharpen her iron.

    Love you both. 😉

  10. ellen

    Thank you for sharing your story, Darla. And for letting me see that my brokenness gave you courage…

  11. Ellen, GOD is shaping a ministry out of your brokenness, HE ALWAYS turns bad to good for those who love and believe HIM. Your sunrise is coming..and the women who will find HIM because of the story you will be able to tell…love you, praying for you this morning. you are precious to me, and even more to HIM.

  12. Sure darla, I should be around online today!

  13. Truly–Beauty for Ashes.

  14. Heidi

    I love you Darla! more than words could ever say…

  15. You rock sis.

    With Christ all things are possible.

    Peace and love.

  16. Darla-
    I have a ‘storm story’ similar to yours that I have not found the courage to write about yet. Thank you for letting us into that dark time in your life. Isn’t Jesus amazing how He lifts our heads? I shudder to think where I would be without Him.

    Love you Prin

  17. It took me a while to come back and comment here. honestly God has totally blown me away with all these comments. HE has also showed me something that is precious to my heart. I have been struggling with ministry, and waiting on HIM for discernment..Amen!, HE opened my eyes..thank you for being a small voice to my heart..and I hear you, and I love you…

    no longer on the fence…I am running with the KING!

  18. “And Darla overcame Satan with the blood of the Lamb and the word of her testimony….” 😉

    Love u prin…

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