Today will be hard…

Today will be hard unless I take the LORD with me, and that is my intention.  I have been courtordered to show up for a face to face meeting with one of my worst abusers.  He wants something from me, again.  He is courtordered to pay support for one of my daughters, and has never activated his right for visitation.(she hasn’t seen him since she was 2) She is 16 years old now, and wants desperately to have the same name as myself. Her daddy to her is the one that has always been here, and she loves him dearly.

My intention is to forgive this man his debt, although he is asking for lower support, I am willing to give him NO support.  But I do want him to sign her over to me once and for all.

God says to forgive, HE doesn’t give any exceptions.  HE just says do it.  In HIS power, I can do all things. So if you read this and feel it on your heart, say a prayer for me today.  It has been difficult the last few days to not fall into the pit of abuse, just knowing I must face him, and speak.  If you have ever been abused you know what I am dealing with, I really want to do what God would have me do, and I want to be a picture of Christ, even to him.  I don’t want to react with hostility, and get into physical fights, I want to respond with Jesus on my lips.

Although I feel that I have forgiven him a long time ago, there is still something there that plagues me or it wouldn’t have such an impact on me. Thanks for reading, and thanks in advance for your prayers.

How do you define the word “Daddy”?

(I will post later on the outcome)



Filed under Christianity, forgiveness, God, healing, life, mercy, prayer, princess entries, Surrender, trust, unforgiveness

13 responses to “Today will be hard…

  1. Oh, Princess…

    My heart bleeds that you have to go through this…..

    I am with you. I stand with you, and hold your hand – through miles and miles of distance, I stand next to you.

    Father in the name of Jesus, I ask that you hold Darla in your hands and in your heart. I ask that you show her how to let go and let God through this, and that YOU be her STRENGTH and SHIELD. Father, in the name of Jesus, I speak divine justice into this situation and command blessings to follow her and her daughter in Jesus’ name.

    May this man be directed sovereignly in the name of Jesus. Let the daughter that they share be truly happy, and let her receive her request to be given her true daddy’s name. I ask in Jesus’ name for your peace that passes all understanding to overpower this entire situation, and I thank you that YOUR PERFECT LOVE covers a multitude of sins.

    Help Darla to keep forgiving, as forgiveness is a choice and not based on her emotions. But in the name of Jesus, and through his living blood, I pray that you will go into her past and divinely heal the memories and wipe away the tears and dissolve the scars of the past abuses. Even as she forgives AGAIN, I ask for your hand to touch the inner, broken places, and bring COMPLETE restoration, in the name and the power and the authority of JESUS, the CHRIST, the SON of the LIVING GOD.


  2. HW

    Oh, sweet Darla, I’m praying for your day. Don’t forget to let us know how it turns out!

    Love you!

  3. Stay Strong, Christ is with you every step of the way. The prayers are going up now!


  4. Laurie Lloyd


    You can count on my prayers for you today and you know that I understand where you are coming from. Head up High Darla, Jesus has your heart and will not let you fall. He will guard your mind and heart today. You are a daughter of the Most High King. He will walk in before you and direct your path. This is His fight and He is more than capable of handling it for you, and He will.

    “Daddy”? For me, the Lord has been the only example of this to me. The exact opposite of my abusive dad. At my lowest point, it was Jesus that reached down, picked me up and sat me close on His lap, and comforted me, held me, wouldn’t let me go until I was okay with Him. He taught me how to trust, how to love, and still shows me daily what my childhood should have been from the beginning. He is the only daddy I know. I am more than content with this truth in my life.

    Love and Hugs and Many Prayers, Laurie in Ca.

  5. The word ‘daddy’? I think the word ‘papa’ works well also. I will email you what I think daddy means – it will possibly be a picture. Praying for you – and my grand daughter!

  6. Darla,

    I have no idea at this point how long my daughter will have to deal with her abusive, soon-to-be ex-husband. As she goes through whatever lays ahead for her, I will think of you and hopefully get the two of you talking.

    I’ll be thinking of/praying for you today.


  7. Daddy is the one that is there – the one that wipes away tears, that offers a shoulder on which to cry, that dusts one-off when they fall, that is the calm, steady, anchor in a chaotic world.

    One of my wife’s biggest fears when we were dating was how her two children would respond to me. I will always remember Megan (she was about 18 months) sitting in a carseat while I was driving the “family” to church. She kept bopping her head from side to side saying, “mommy…daddy…mommy…daddy.”
    It was like she was processing that there was something normal and right about the association between the two. Once Megan started calling me “Daddy” it wasn’t long before her big brother got in on the action too – I don’t think he wanted to miss out on anything.
    Megan is now a Mommy herself – and having to deal with bringing a precious life into the world with no immediate prospect of a “normal” Mom and Dad home life.
    So now, I’m Grandpa…

  8. You are in my prayers! I guess the thing I have to remember with people from my past, is that will have to stand before God one day for what they did.
    Just because someone fathers a child does not mean they are daddy. Daddy is one that is there through it all, the good and the bad. Day after day.
    You will get through this and hopefully you will never have to face it again!

  9. Sitting here reading all your comments, and tears are just rolling. How awesome is our God, to give me such a wonderful family in Christ, who jump to the task of praying me through and for the kingdom.

    I did forgive his debt and he was grateful, I will post more on that later, and he signed over my daughter to me ..more a little later in a new post… thanks again love you all!

  10. Our God is awesome – the picture I sent via email I cherish. Anxious to hear the rest of the story.

  11. I am so proud of you!
    #1 Because you chose forgiveness.
    #2 Because you trusted God.
    #3 Because you defended your daughter.
    #4 Because you honored your husband.
    #5 Because you were transparent and honest in sharing with us.
    #6 Because you trusted us to pray with you.
    #7 Because you were victorious!

  12. It’s my fondest wish that your next post will be that the court has recognized what your daughter already knows. That your husband is her “daddy”.

    The one requirement of a “daddy” is love. Without it we are just taking about a sperm donor.

  13. Darls – I’m so sorry I’m late reading this. I’ll catch next post, as I see it’s an update. The Lord is your strong tower!

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