Daily Archives: December 11, 2008

HE opened my eyes..

Today I asked for prayer and support from my blogging family, and amazingly you all blew me away with your comments, and texts, and someothers that I just knew were lifting me.  God went far beyond what any of us asked,..let me tell you the story…He opened my eyes, broke my heart, and then rewarded my obedience..How Great is our God!

I met up with my ex while my Hubs was by my side (thank you Jesus), and the fear that I have been battling left. The best way to describe it seems to me that I was no longer looking at him through my eyes but the eyes of my God.  I saw him as a man who has hit the bottom, much like the others I reach out to. I saw his brokenness, and his need for a savior.  I have that, and I could not keep it to myself.  He did not expect me to forgive his debt, and I didn’t expect him to think at all about what I was saying about Trina being Scotts daughter.  But at that moment something “God” happened in that room, I saw him stop thinking about himself, and actually think about her, and give her his blessing, and sign the paper.  I signed the paper to cancel his support order, and forgive the debt in the rears.  He thanked me.  God broke my heart for the lost heart of my abuser.  When it was all said and done, we had talked about mercy, and forgiveness but not yet God.  So I leaned over to him, and in simple terms,  “You really need to get right with God, let him give you life…it worked for me and is still a GO, who would have thunk?”  he smiled and said “yeah, who would have thunk”  He thanked me and Scott again as he walked away into the rain, still broken, but free from the court, and scratching his head as to what just happened.  I know God is working his heart now.  I am thanking and praising God for taking the bad and making it good, I am thanking HIM for breaking my heart, and helping me to follow HIM here today.  Thanking HIM for my Hubs, who was incredible and the greatest support to me, and I am thanking HIM for all of you, who quickly came to my aid in prayer.

Isaiah 42:16

 I will lead the blind by a way they did not know;

    I will guide them on paths they have not known.

    I will turn darkness to light in front of them,

    and rough places into level ground.

    This is what I will do for them,

    and I will not forsake them

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Today will be hard…

Today will be hard unless I take the LORD with me, and that is my intention.  I have been courtordered to show up for a face to face meeting with one of my worst abusers.  He wants something from me, again.  He is courtordered to pay support for one of my daughters, and has never activated his right for visitation.(she hasn’t seen him since she was 2) She is 16 years old now, and wants desperately to have the same name as myself. Her daddy to her is the one that has always been here, and she loves him dearly.

My intention is to forgive this man his debt, although he is asking for lower support, I am willing to give him NO support.  But I do want him to sign her over to me once and for all.

God says to forgive, HE doesn’t give any exceptions.  HE just says do it.  In HIS power, I can do all things. So if you read this and feel it on your heart, say a prayer for me today.  It has been difficult the last few days to not fall into the pit of abuse, just knowing I must face him, and speak.  If you have ever been abused you know what I am dealing with, I really want to do what God would have me do, and I want to be a picture of Christ, even to him.  I don’t want to react with hostility, and get into physical fights, I want to respond with Jesus on my lips.

Although I feel that I have forgiven him a long time ago, there is still something there that plagues me or it wouldn’t have such an impact on me. Thanks for reading, and thanks in advance for your prayers.

How do you define the word “Daddy”?

(I will post later on the outcome)

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