Daily Archives: November 12, 2008

Down to the Bottom/Lifter of my Head II

It’s been a long time since I posted any more of my story, and I am feeling like God is pushing me off my seat again.. Go here for the part one

As if part one wasn’t enough, and as if I should have known the bottom by that point…it was just the beginning of discovering that the bottom has no bottom.  There is no such thing as this is as low it goes…

My next adventure with men, took me to a place where romance was a scam.  And I fell for it.  At that time, I started to not only sell drugs but use more than I sold, fighting with anyone and everyone…so much anger and suicidal tendancies made me a dangerous person on the outside, and a scared little girl on the inside.  I didn’t look up, I always looked down or blank stared through people, but look up..no. If I had, maybe I would have seen Jesus holding out HIS hands to me. 

I became a junky.  I took everything and anything, and I am sure I should have been dead on several accounts to my addiction.  This was my first brush with the supernatural, and the power of GOD that intrigued me, and would not leave my thoughts.  It isn’t unusal to see things that aren’t there when high as a kite…but it is unusual to remember them over a period of time.  I know that GOD pursued me in that moment.  For what I saw is still vivid in my mind. I saw a beautiful woman, who threatened to take all that I had left, and she laughed at me, she taunted me, and when I reached for her, she became the most hideous creature I had ever seen…it was like looking into a porthole straight into hell.  Terrifying.  I cried out with what even surprised me at the time, was a prayer that my step dad made me learn. ( bless him for that)  But all I could remember was…”Our Father who art in Heaven…deliver me from the evil one” and a peace came over me, and I left that house, and never returned. My addiction was gone and needles and drugs a thing of the past.  I was scared to death to even entertain the thought.

The Power of Almighty God in the dark kingdom.  I felt it that night, as HE grabbed me again from the pit.  Did I look up at that point? you would think that I would have, but no.

While looking back at this time in my life, I was desperate to believe in romance, love, and a safe place to land. Still wanting the fairy tale.  The fairy tale goes like this…A knight in shining armor will ride in on a white horse, and rescue the maiden in distress, and will take her with him to his castle and take care of her, and live happily ever after…. For many years I scolded women for telling their daughters that lie..but is it a lie….

Ever read the last few chapters of Revelation, please do..HE is coming on a white horse, and we are going to live happily ever after…if you have repented your sin and allow HIM to be the KING of your heart.  Its not to late…you haven’t missed it..Please,  I beg you..let HIM in and let HIM trade your ashes for beauty.  (to be continued…down to the bottom/lifter of my head)

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