Its been a while since I felt the presence of God rest on me, just like there was nothing else there, and even the air I was taking in was all HIM, so intense that it caused me to tremble. Yes, partly because I know how unworthy I am to be in HIS presence, but bigger than that…the Presence of my Holy God, HIS holiness, and my reverence for all that means, and what I have yet to learn. Today, I was stretched to the point of fear, and knowing that I really shouldn’t fear, but I need to move forward and be obedient. I chose obedience. I am getting ready to start a study about Idolatry in our modern world. The more I dig, the more I fear.
Lately I have been up against a rock and hard place, and wondering if I made a mistake in taking this on, did I not hear HIM correctly, alot of self-doubt, and alot of nothing more than excuses..and I have been bringing them before my Holy God. This morning I asked some good friends who love the Lord to just pray for me today. I left home feeling nervous, anxious, and literaly shaking inside. WHY? more self doubt set in..Our message today was on Idolatry! I was sitting there and listening to my Pastor very intently, and thinking…we are so far from where we are supposed to be…more self doubt set in…who am I to think I can begin to teach this, me … I have a GED, business school/economics major, mechanical engineering classes…no Bible college- and this Pastor is a Dr, and teaches pastors…that is when it happened…
I felt HIM rest on me, and I trembled. HE spoke to my heart and calmed me, and re enforced, I am teaching this class. HE does not fail me. My spiritual being is ready to follow, my flesh is terrified. I have experienced this before, not on this level. I think it is the message of the study that is gripping at me. “No other gods” He means it!
Today, I take a vow before my King…NO other gods, I will be faithful.
(thanks for your prayers! which one of you called the presence of God on me..you have answered prayer)