Yesterday, it seemed like a normal Sunday morning. It quickly turned into something I was not ready for. I am thrilled that God is always ready and always knowing what I am walking into, and had a purpose of deliverance every single time HE allows me to fall.
As I walked through my church I saw a pic hanging on a board of a ministry that had started up close to me, and not being prepared for who I saw there, caused me great anger, then fear, darkness that seemed to close in on me. Fighting my mind, I listened to my Pastor preach, and what continued to yell to me was “when I am weak then I am strong in HIM”. I prayed. How can one pic turn me upside down and inside out so badly? I have forgiven this person, I was walked on, I am grounded in Christ like never before, I have a good church, and a church family who prays for me, and is very supportive.
Spiritual Abuse…I knew it happened to me, and I knew it was the grace of God and HIS mercy that lifted me out, and placed me with someone who could guide me in the way I needed to be. I had no idea the depths that it had touched me. The pic was of a pastor who had lied, who had wrecked my reputation, who ripped a church apart, who walked a way from the ministry. Leaving alot of people in this town in a spiritual desert of sorts, some walking away from the Lord, and others still coming out of it.
The goodness of the LORD surrounded me in my fears and tremblings, and even while I was unable to make sense of all that I was feeling…HE sent two different people to me. One encouraged me to remember the walk I have, and the power of the Spirit with in me, the other was a sister who had the same experience years ahead of me, and without much explanation she knew all that I was talking about..and guided me greatly in the direction for the understanding and healing that I need in this area.
I came from an abused life, I think my heart was so distorted and sick that when I met this person, I was an easy target. I have run from God all my life, and have allowed people to define who HE is, but not anymore. I am not running, and I wiser than I was, My GOD is great, and has once again delivered me from something that was intended to stop me, and now will make me even stronger.