While attempting to work on “Lifter of my Head” , God stirred my heart to this question -What was the biggest lie, the one the enemy built off to make his other lies work? I stand amazed!
The biggest lie goes all the way back my early teens. You are not chosen of God. HE doesn’t love you, and you are destined to be abused, ignored, and tormented. Do what ever you want, you are allowed, follow me, I am also not chosen. I remember hearing that in my heart of hearts, I remember looking at my life and seeing the turmoil and chaos of my family. I think my addictions started then. I had no hope, that my life would ever be better than it was, the purpose of living seemed to be for the moment. My addictions started with smoking, and then marijuana, then cocaine, prescription diet pills, valium, librium, zanax, muscle relaxers, alcohol. I did not have a preference and sometimes took them all at once. I could tell you of endless times I thought this is my last day, and I won’t wake up again tomorrow…hell could not be any worse than life, and if it is, I still be away from here. Remembering the devastation of waking up, and honestly being disappointed that in my failure of a life, I couldn’t even kill myself correctly.
I talked to God throughout the years from 13-35 but mostly screaming at HIM, and questioning… “Why did you not pick me?, at least tell me that! why do you bring people into the world just to torment them? What kind of God are you? You are probably not even there.” But through my walking through the past with the Lord, HE showed me every where HE was with me, even while I was screaming and blaming HIM, for my life being so empty. I know that HE saved my life every time I tried to take it. I know that my first born was HIS saving me again. ( I was not to be able to have children, and her father killed himself, I would have followed, but I was six months pregnant, and although I would hurt me, I would not hurt her.)
In my ignorance of my Mighty KING, and the ignorance of the Bible/Truth, I bought the lie…and everything that was evil in my life confirmed the lie…many years of destruction, the despair that doesn’t write out with justice, and the tears that flow every time I remember that I am where I am today, because HE lifted me out, and wrapped HIS arms around me, and spoke truth to my heart. HE has a plan for all of us, before we were born. The ugliness we see in the world and all around us at times, is part of the curse that sin brought to the world. This place isn’t our home. Where we are traveling to is perfect. We are not home yet.
What lie has the enemy told you? If it is negative of God, you are living in the lie. Give the enemy no glory, ask the King, and HE is always faithful to tell you truth.
ponderings of a princess... 
Oh Darla! This is so powerful. We all buy the enemy’s smooth lines don’t we. For me, it was “you will never be enough. Thin enough, pretty enough, play (piano) enough.” Praise the Lord that because He lives in me, I am enough!
Thanks for challenging us today! Praying for that sweet girl of yours. 🙂
That those that love me will always leave…..
But I was reminded again and again of HIS truth that HE will never leave me nor forsake me.
Thank you Darla for sharing your testimony. That, and the blood of the lamb is how the enemy is OVER COME!!
I am so blessed and lifted up by what you share here. Thank you……Storie
The biggest lie. . .hmmmmm
The first thing I thought of was the If I think in terms of how I saw myself in my youth there were a lot of self-esteem issues but I don’t think they were necessarily lies of the enemy. I never blamed any of that kind if thing on God. If I knew self-pity it wasn’t a work of Satan, just my own self-pity born of my sinful nature and unsatisfied selfishness. I don’t think lack of self-esteem is the work of the enemy, nor will I blame him for it. As long as I was not lliving or Christ, even though I was a believer, Satan left me alone. I have only come under direct attack since I gave up my rights to my ‘self’ and let God have His way with me.
When I fall to temptation of one sort or another and sin (having been drawn into sin by my own lust, as James says), he attacks my assurance in God’s saving power to cause me to also perservere in faith.
Does that make any sense?
Wow Darla, your testimony is so powerful! Thanks so much for sharing your experiences, it’s amazing to read about God’s love in your life!
For me it’s an ongoing thing to ask God to help me transform my thinking so that it lines up with what He says in scripture, but it brings the biggest freedom.
I really like your site 🙂
Dan no doubt I made alot of bad choices, and I take ownership of them…if you read some of my older posts it will confirm that. Also yes we have a sinful nature..where do you think that came from? Do you believe that we live in a cursed world, and are feeling the effects of that? Yes even the blessed will feel the effects..Your theology is very good, and I have a high respect for that. I am in a place of taking my theology and my reality and seeing them merge. Application…the enemy started the lie in the garden, thus causing the fall of man, thus causing the curse. I pray you never have to walk ten minutes in my past, and I pray that if someone you love does, you will remember that people generally make wrong choices from the lie that causes the sinful nature, and often the curse touched them first. Sexually abused children did not sin in that act, but they are lied to, and not many are there to tell them different. That is part of the curse..and yes sinful nature..thats my stand, and my theology is sound, I have been checked by some very solid Dr/Preachers. God is awesome, and when application takes place…Where there is truth there is freedom! love ya man!
Steph-HEY Princess…I love me some Steph! the enemy was telling you some lies..bc you are beautiful, and your heart! well girl…I have been loving that over a year! precious to me!
Storie-Thanks for coming by my little blog world, please feel free to jump in at any time..Love your blog
Birgit-Wow that was fast turn around! I love your blog too, and the same goes…make your self at home and anytime..jump in..
“you will remember that people generally make wrong choices from the lie that causes the sinful nature,”
The lie that causes the sinful nature…never thought of it that way. I do know that the enemies we face are the ‘world’, which is under the power of Satan temporarily, Satan himself, and our own flesh. I have never attributed the sinful nature specifically to a lie from the enemy, but rather a result of the fall separate from Satan’s direct influence, and the result of Adam’s disobedience. Yes Satan tempted, but Adam disobeyed the only rule he had. Satan only lied, Adam’s disobedience brought about sin.
When James says “we sin when we are drawn away by our own lust (natural sinfulness)” he means just that. There is an element of Satan’s tempting and an element of our own sinfulness. The blame for our natural sinfulness cannot be laid of the feet of Satan. We inherited it from Adam and we own it. That’s all I am saying.
I am not questioning your theology, unless you are saying that our sinful nature is Satan’s fault. I sent to the biggest church in this city to see their ‘Passion’ drama and the scene in the garden actually laid the blame squarely at the feet of Satan. The narration went something like “…because of what Satan, God had to do something to fix it…” I had a friend also listen to see if I heard it correctly. It’s because of Adam’s disobedience the human race is in the fix it’s in. It is stated clearly in Romans 5:19 and backed up from Genesis to Revelation that Christ’s death was for OUR sin, not to undo what Satan did.
That’s all I am saying and I love you 2!
Dan- Agree! obedience is key, we just really cannot under-estimate the enemy, his game is to keep us as far from the truth of God as possible…God is always good. I did not know that for much of my life…and in outreach when I confront the lie with the truth, I have not met one that didn’t at least become more passive to hear the truth. Don’t you think we all want truth..we all need saved by Grace, our sinful nature has condemned us but Jesus can take it all away. When I look back at the lies that were fed me, and talk them through with the Lord…HE allowed it for a day like today, I can talk this with others because I know it first hand. Satan is only allowed to have his time, and to trip us up, when God says he can, and God will turn those times into something for HIS glory. Some will never turn around and let HIM do that, but I believe HE stands with outstretched arms, begging for us to come. Thanks for sharpening my mind!
You are right about Satan needing permission and God using whatever befalls us (good or bad) first and foremost for His own Glory but also for our being conformed to the image of His Son, which is a good thing.
What that means is that no matter how bad it gets, no matter how evil it is, no mattter how much of a victory Satan thinks he has won over us, that victory is ground to dust in the light of the Glory of God.
Amen! Glory to GOD, that is what it is all about! Giving God some glory!
Have you seen the drive-through church video clip? I posted it on my blog when I elarned how to do it.
oh Darla! you ARE an Overcomer!!!
I love Praising God for you!
The lie i tend to believe is the one when I am “down” – that I am not worthy. And i KNOW better than that. Lies are so seductive and persuasive. The enemy has as much power tho as I allow him. God is bigger and He who is in me has power to defeat the lie!!! I’ve got to claim that and that alone!
Excellent testimony! Satan is a liar! And you are an overcomer!
Darla – as I type this I am weeping – no one should have to endure the pain that you have had in your past – it scared me – for you! Please keep close to Jesus! Papa and mama love you and we will be praying for you.
papa has had a quite uneventful life – no major “infractions” outside of God’s care. He has always been the one I have run to when I become disobedient.
Thank you for sharing!
Papa- hope those are happy tears! Because I am free from the past, healed, and moving forward with Jesus! Praise HIM and do the happy dance! HE is all that HE says HE is, forgiveness of my past is in tact, and now..Jesus and I are getting back my plunder..every single time I speak truth to the lie that is being told to someone else…GOd is good!! Love HIM so!!! Thanks for your prayers, and know that I lift you and mama up too…I am going to try to ichat with you when I get to Tams!
Tam- I ♥ you! the enemy is so good at attacking us when we are down…you are worth everything to God..unfortunately what happens is we feel the effects of the curse (a not perfect world), I know HE never takes HIS eyes off of you! Praying extra for you,and for the enemy to get ready for that lake of fire that is waiting for him. DO you think we will be among the loudest “woooohoooooo” when he gets thrown in???
Rochelle- AMEN you got that right!!! missed you around here..I will try to get over to your blog real soon..miss some stories about that sweet daughter of yours!
I think I will be out of town when you get to Tams! :o( We go on vacation to northern MI the 19th thru the 26th – no computer! They were sad tears about your past – i know God has been faithful but papa has a hard time when he see’s how destructive life has been to wonderful people in the past – love you! I hate ugly scars!
DARLA!
I’m in tears!
And speechless. I’ll come back.
God bless you.
Scars are fading..and now are a reminder to me that others are out there dealing with the same things, I know the way out…the way to Jesus, and the truth that he does love them…gives me many opportunites to present the gospel.
BT hey girl welcome!! don’t cry…rejoice with me, that HE is capable and will move on behalf of one that cries out to HIM. LOve HIM and YOU!
Great post. Biggest lie? That I need people’s approval to validate myself or my abilities
The keeping power of God…He chose you, He chose me, He chose our spouses…He chose my son before the foundation of the world to be found in Him. And when it pleased Him to do so, He revealed Himself to us. All that we did in the flesh before that revelation, He can and will redeem.
He has redeemed you so beautifully!! Someday, when we meet in Heaven (if not before) I’m gonna do the happy dance with you, after I hold on tight for the biggest hug of your life!
♥ U Princess!
Praise God that He is a redeemer! HALLELUJAH!
As I read your post I was reminded of being cautious of every proud and lofty thing that sets itself against the true knowledge of God and we lead every thought and purpose away captive into the obedience of Christ [2 Cor: 10:4-5]. The enemy is good at giving us things that don’t align with God’s Word and yes sometimes we can fall for them but praise God for our victory in His blood!
Thank you so much for sharing your story. I can relate to the pain and confusion that comes with abuse and years of self-hatred and insecurity but glory to God He is a redeemer! We are fearfully and wonderfully made in His sight and we cannot allow the enemy to convince us of otherwise.
Love you!
Hey, Darla!
Your very own Picassohead – by me!
http://www.mrpicassohead.com/canvas.html?id=06a8b56&skin=original
If you hate it – just delete – no hard feelings. 😉
hmmm…the biggest lie was probably I don’t need anyone; I can make it on my own.
there were of course, also self-image issues…I think that’s pretty common.
The moment of freedom came the day I figured out that God loves me just the way I am, and does not require anything from me other than to seek Him. (well, there’s more to it than that, but it’s all tied up under walking with Him/seeking Him/being in relationship with Him).
Jeff
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Darla:
My jaw is on the floor…
…my heart has stood frozen in time…
…my eyes cannot look away…
…because your story has given me….Hope.
Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you.
Nor- we are never beyond HIS grasp, and HE will not let go of us…HE promised, HE don’t lie…and you and me bro are HIS favorite kind..HE shines alot of GLory from our story. Love you! welcome to Overcomer..we journey together to overcome the lies and the obstacles.
Has the world gone mad??
Please don’t take this the wrong way but do you really believe in all the things you are saying? I am not for one minute trying to bring you down or hoping you will change your beliefs but give me strength.I cant listen to this anymore!
You are are telling each other to praise god and to believe in something that is already inside of you not some god!. We as human beings get the strength from us not god and if we just believed in ourselves instead of a lie then we could look in the mirror and thank the only person that matters..YOU
If your faith helps you then don’t stop believing but please take more credit for what you and only you has achieved x