Daily Archives: April 21, 2008

Even when I don’t know…

Today was a hard day, not because anything went wrong, just because my focus seem to be strained.  I just couldn’t seem to figure out why..do you ever have days like that? Then to top off my afternoon, I looked at my hand and noticed that I lost my diamond, it just fell out of the setting, and knowing that where I have been today, in a dusty stoney bus terminal, that it was very unlikely that I would find it.  So sadness overcame me.  Not because it was so priceless, but because of what it meant to me, how very special it has been for 14 years.  My hubs picked it out by himself, and it fit perfectly, I was totally surprised, no clue that he was even getting it for me.  So you get the pic that it meant alot to my heart.  I prayed, for the sadness to leave me, and to be able to rejoice in HIM anyway.

I have a bad habit of beating myself up when I feel like I have failed, and at that moment I felt that I failed to take care of my ring good enough.  Next I thought of how much I love to study God’s word, but haven’t spent as much time there as I have in the past, and how I kind of stay away from conversations that are honestly over my head, and again feel not good enough to be in those debates.  Because honestly I DON”T KNOW!  I DON”T KNOW ALL THE ANSWERS, I DON’T KNOW how things work exactly, I DON’T KNOW how God pulls things together or how HE is going to keep HIS promises to me….I DON’T KNOW…I don’t know…but HE encouraged my heart to day…after I was resolved that God must not want me to have my diamond anymore, my son bent down and picked it up off the floor of the bus, after 60 kids climbed in and out, and said “is this it?”  And it is!! So after thanking HIM for Derek and his great find….I reflected on how good HE is to me.  And how much I love HIM…headed back to my study where I am searching out shadows of the cross throughout the Old testament…but stopped to check on TAM, http://kassota.wordpress.com and found this http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_e4zgJXPpI4   if you don’t spend the eight minutes to watch this you will surely miss out on something so precious…you see this is the missing piece I was looking for as to “how far back in the Bible does God show HIS plan for redemption..HIS signature/HIS shadow of the cross”…i watched this video and it resonated on me, and I cried, and then I rejoiced, and then I realized HE had filled me with more joy over this information than I had finding my diamond…HE is truly more precious to me than any earthly thing!  As I praise HIM for caring so much and holding on to me through everything…I pray that you also fall in love with your Creator, HE loves and cares and never takes HIS eyes off of us, Even When We Don’t Know!



Filed under random thoughts