Yesterday, my heart broke and I put on my reproach that I have not worn in a very long time. Foolish! I watched someone else take my place uninvited with my daughter, and in front of 40 people she showed how much better she is for my daughter than I have ever been. It felt like a part of me died right there. Instead of speaking truth over that moment, I fell to the pain and decided I deserved what was given to me. I put on my reproach…divorce, suicide, abuse, shame, rejection, terrible parent, the list could go on but I think you know what I am talking about. My Aunt is being buried today, and I put on more reproach..didn’t spend time with her, life just moved so fast, I am a terrible niece. So last night I felt the reproach and the need to be numb, and I went to sleep praying that I could just not feel anything. More Foolishness!
I sent a sweet sister of mine the Believing God dvds to view privately, and I was upset that one of them was not in the pack…but last night as I rolled around in my reproach, it was delivered to my door. As I was still feeling the reproach this morning, I stayed home alone. God moved on my heart, watch the dvd before you send it, its still Sunday moring and we can have church right here. As I sat in tears, I watch a demonstration of wearing reproach, and one I know well. How in the world did the enemy get me in this corner and make me believe I needed to wear this trash again?
The Lord talked to my heart, and I am not wearing this reproach. This was a wounding that will result in healing, and it didn’t take years to take off the reproach, it only took 24 hours to see it for what it is, and drop the thing! Praise HIM!! Give God some Glory!! I am not who I was, I am not going back there, no thanks I lost nothing there worthy of retrieving, God is renewing my mind, and HE has already wore my reproach all the way to the cross, and there really is no reason for HIM and I to wear the same thing. Thank you Jesus! Your mercy is new every morning, I am becoming more like your Son, and your love is better than life. Walking on with YOU, and wearing the righteousness of Jesus Christ. I am an Overcomer in the Holy name of Jesus! Thank you Lord, your timing was perfect in the delivering of that dvd, you are always several steps ahead of us, and you always fulfill our needs. I am blessed, redeemed, forgiven, loved, accepted, and adopted into your royal family. I pray that anyone reading this will not wear reproach, and move on with YOU in the land of promise you have for them.
ponderings of a princess... 
My Sweet Sister Darla,
I just found these quotations on Heathers blog before I came here and I think they were both meant for this moment.
1. I tell you, if you are serious about wanting to be like Christ, He is going to put you in circumstances where your only true choice is to become like Him. Francis Frangipane
2. The Christian does not think God will love us because we are good, but that God will make us good because He loves us; just as the roof of a ssunhouse does not attract the sun because it is bright, but becomes bright because the sun shines on it. C.S. Lewis
Isn’t it amazing how reproach is just one little insecure thought away. It is my turn to remind you that you are a PRINCESS OF THE MOST HIGH, worthy because of HIM, not because of ourselves. Our pasts are forgotten by Him as far as the East is from the West. How sweet is it that He set apart alone, one on one time with His precious girl this morning. He knows your heart so perfectly, the one He created just for you to love Him. He knows you do. I love you and your honest heart Darla. It teaches me so much to stay true to my path with Him. Bless your day to overflowing today. You are So Loved.
Laurie in Ca.
You are so precious to our Lord, AND to each of us. Your testimony is so powerful and God is using it to touch so many women. Thank you for not backing away! Like Laurie said, You are SOOO loved.
steph.
I just love how God always provides all we need in order to be free. He loves you so much!
Much love princess.
Angela
My princess,
You are a precious but rare gem, God has draped you with significance and honor. He’s even given heir to His throne. Yes, I am too “schooled” of where you were this weekend, BUT do you want to know the inspiration?
You knew, you passed through, and you overcame and now your ministering in your transparancy.
Love you so much and ALWAYS ALWAYS praying.
What an awesome thing to experience God’s touch on our lives! It was His plan to bless you with His Word through that video. I’m praising Him for what He did for you. He’s a Wonder…
Wearing the “clothing of reproach” is destructive. At the time it seems to fit well. Soon we find it strangling the life right out of us. Satan thinks he has us. Thats when we shed these old rags and put on the garments of God’s holiness! He truely loves you Darla.
Laurie- I love Francis Frangipane, and CSLewis, and I believe those quotes with all my heart. This post is a reminder that no one is that accomplished on this road for the enemy to not set you up. I was set up by him, and I thank Jesus that I remembered to reach out for HIM, and I thank HIM for placing that dvd on my lap, I believe when the walls are closing in…God will open a window…thanks for your kind words..Love you too Princess!
Steph and Angela-you both have been with me almost a year and through lots of things in blogland…my sister princess’s and I thank God for you…Girl(s) don’t you ever let the enemy back you in a corner , and if he does, you have the power of Jesus to move him out of your way. This road to HIM is not always easy, but it is always best.
Heidi- you are like my twin in blogland…I see so many similarities, and your prayers are so precious to me…thank you thank you thank you, you know your prayers may have moved the hand of God on my behalf..God is awesome like that and HE uses you too in ministering to me! love you so much!
Twinkle-my princess sister, my kindred spirit, you are incredibly beautiful to me, and I know you see HIS hand in this too! in all that has been happening, I believe the angels are dancing, and our Father God is looking to HIS right and telling HIS son…”thats my girl, she believes me today”
Papa- thank you for being you, I adore you, and I love having your wisdom here, and although sometimes you totally crack me up, other times it is just like a father image to just talk truth to me.
princess overcomer
you are a magnificent example of God’s truth to all who know and love you. staying home today was within God’s provenance for you to spend time with Him being reminded of what He did on the cross for you.
Mary P- it was so much more than that! It was spiritual breakthrough, I stopped wearing my reproach along time ago…and you never know how you respond again unless it is put right in your face..staying in our Christian bubble we are always safe from that…but the breakthrough for me was recognising it, and refusing it. Knowing that what I needed most was time with Jesus by myself. Love you sista
I was so sorry to hear you were going through this. The enemy is just a little pip squeak, but there are times when he can get in front of God’s light and cast a huge shadow. I am praying for you…Love you!
Darla – I cried for you as I read this. I went from tears of sadness, then to grief, then to frustration, then to tears of joy and thankfulness!!!
Praise God we are not under the enemies authority or rule! HE rules! HE is the authority. The author of life, love and healing – and He showered all of that over you today!
And the “missing” dvd…wasn’t really “missing” after all. It was right where He wanted it all along…at your doorstep right when YOU would need it the most. Someone just try to tell me HE is not alive and active! Go ahead! Try!!!
GG, Tam- God has been faithful to minister to my heart. I am following hard after him as I know without a doubt, HE would not allow me to have this experience if it was not for HIS greater good. Today I am stronger for it, and no matter what I am faced with today, I know with out a doubt that God will not let me hang, HE is walking through it with me. I am not ever going back to who I was before HIM, not even the love for my daughter can make me do that. She has always been my Isaac, and I have to place her in HIS hands, and know HE has a plan for her as well. I love you both, and I am so grateful to have you walking this out with me. I am counting down to June 25…can’t wait!!
Thanks Darla, for this reminder. I think I need the reminder on a regular basis. I’ve been contemplating writing about this topic as 1st person from satan’s point-of-view… ala Screwtape Letters.
Darla,
How wonderful that you were able to work this out. I don’t know your story but if you have gone through divorce, you are an overcomer. I know because I have walked that road.
Blessings on you.
Ric – that is awesome! I would definitely love to read it! and maybe tape it up some where to remember the enemy is that low!
Crystal- Been divorced, had someone I wasn’t married to but pregnant with commit suicide, and all the baggage that goes with it. GOD is so awesome, and HE has totally lifted me out of those pits, and there is no way I will willingly go back in! YAY GOD!!
Darla – watched my kids go through some tough times. They are fine but there is still the baggage that goes with crap. That’s where you can find your greatest blessings if you let Jesus show you.
Wow! What a powerful entry….
Everyone has “junk” that needs to be laid at the foot of the cross. And we do and we’re forgiven. It’s over in God’s eyes.
But we have to keep picking it up our bag of garbage… *sigh*
Thank you so much for this reminder!
Oh! Thanks for stopping by! LOL!
I popped over to see you and just got caught up in your entry.. =D
Dear Darla,
God doesn’t see your reproach. He has rolled it away. Do not live in it because then Jesus death on the cross is in vain. Tell Satan to “GET AWAY” and leave you alone. You are blessed, chosen, adopted,forgiven and loved.
Leah