Daily Archives: March 2, 2008

Refusing to wear the reproach

Yesterday, my heart broke and I put on my reproach that I have not worn in a very long time.  Foolish!  I watched someone else take my place uninvited with my daughter, and in front of 40 people she showed how much better she is for my daughter than I have ever been.  It felt like a part of me died right there.  Instead of speaking truth over that moment, I fell to the pain and decided I deserved what was given to me.  I put on my reproach…divorce, suicide, abuse, shame, rejection, terrible parent, the list could go on but I think you know what I am talking about.  My Aunt is being buried today, and I put on more reproach..didn’t spend time with her, life just moved so fast, I am a terrible niece. So last night I felt the reproach and the need to be numb, and I went to sleep praying that I could just not feel anything.  More Foolishness!

I sent a sweet sister of mine the Believing God dvds to view privately, and I was upset that one of them was not in the pack…but last night as I rolled around in my reproach, it was delivered to my door.  As I was still feeling the reproach this morning, I stayed home alone.  God moved on my heart, watch the dvd before you send it, its still Sunday moring and we can have church right here.  As I sat in tears, I watch a demonstration of wearing reproach, and one I know well.  How in the world did the enemy get me in this corner and make me believe I needed to wear this trash again? 

The Lord talked to my heart, and I am not wearing this reproach.  This was a wounding that will result in healing, and it didn’t take years to take off the reproach, it only took 24 hours to see it for what it is, and drop the thing!  Praise HIM!! Give God some Glory!!  I am not who I was, I am not going back there, no thanks I lost nothing there worthy of retrieving, God is renewing my mind, and HE has already wore my reproach all the way to the cross, and there really is no reason for HIM and I to wear the same thing.  Thank you Jesus!  Your mercy is new every morning, I am becoming more like your Son, and your love is better than life.  Walking on with YOU, and wearing the righteousness of Jesus Christ.  I am an Overcomer in the Holy name of Jesus! Thank you Lord, your timing was perfect in the delivering of that dvd, you are always several steps ahead of us, and you always fulfill our needs.  I am blessed, redeemed, forgiven, loved, accepted, and adopted into your royal family.  I pray that anyone reading this will not wear reproach, and move on with YOU in the land of promise you have for them.

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