Hebrews 12:1 Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perserverance the race marked out for us.
Lately, I have found my self in situation of discontent. Before I get blasted-let me explain. I am very content in God, and overall with my progress in my faith walk. But I tend to be critical to others who are my sisters in Christ. So I asked HIM “whats up with me?” Why is it so hard to have a conversation with my sisters without leaving the conversation feeling emptier than it began? So here are some thing that the Lord and I have been walking through.
I have had some very awesome people and great lovers of Jesus in my life for the last several years, and lost the closest one a little more than a year ago. She is now residing in Heaven. She has greatly influenced me, and caused me to question myself and the Lord, and to dig into HIS word. She encouraged me to be real, and were very upfront about my shortcomings. Her name is Gladys Applegate. Oh how dear she still is to me. I got to spend a little time with her before she went to heaven. Gladys was a retired school teacher, and did not mix words with me. I loved her for that. We spent lots of hours together working on things for church, and sometimes just to drink coffee and talk. She was an amazing person, and she really loved Jesus. She always encouraged me to be the person HE made me to be, even if no one else understood. 🙂 Lately I have been missing her alot! Mostly because I want to talk to her about the things I have been thinking and to hear her tell me flat out..”you better love girl!, or you better pray to love that person..never mind we’ll just do it right now”, or my favorite rebuking she used to give me…”girl you better pray about that tongue of yours”..that always made us both laugh, due to her tongue was whipping me. I called her “Applecake” and she always smiled, and no one else was allowed to call her that.
Today talking to the Lord, I just cried and said I really miss her, and there is no one else who walks beside me on this road that I know, and sometimes doing the right things can make for a very lonely day. I know that the Lord is always with us, and I know that HE is my refuge and my shield, and my hiding place…and HE is my best friend. In my blockheaded state of mind…I just was enjoying my missing her! HE reminded me today that the ones that have taught me the most about HIM, who have moved on to Glory, have joined my great cloud of witnesses, and they are cheering me on to finish this race well. They have already finished the race, and now it is my turn to run it to win. I am greatly encouraged!
Later today, I was very irritated, and my tongue was about to fly…and then I remembered…”you better pray about that tongue girl”, and I did. Some how I feel alot better about things, knowing that God is always here, and my cloud of witnesses, knowing that they have passed the baton to me, have taught me truth, and have shown me how to seek the Lord, and follow HIM with my heart. God is always good, so even in my pity party with myself…HE has turned a very cloudy day into a day filled with HIS Sonshine. Run Princess, run the race to win. Don’t let anything sidetrack you, or distract you…just run to win the prize! You have a great cloud of witnesses as well…and they are cheering you on.
Maybe I have been critcal of my sisters due to they are not on this road or running the race at the same place I am. But you know I really do love them. Jesus has to be my everything for my everything. That is all that works for me, and I will come across that finished line probably ripped up from all the falling I do, but make no mistake…I am coming in!