While thinking what will be written this time, all that filled my heart was this…Holy Holy Holy. The LORD has been walking me through a time of learning more about HIM, and teaching me to come to a new level of believing HIM. These are some of the things that I am learning.
Submission is not the dirty “S” word, it is not painful either. As a matter of fact, when submitting in the proper order, I come to know HIM more and love HIM more. HE has been teaching me to submit to HIM in things that just seem to be “crazy”, and then the other places that I need to submit such as my husband, my Pastor, and godly counsel, are quite easy to do. HE knows that I have always had much trouble with authority as it has proved to be bad for me. So early morning lessons, and hands on activities with the LORD has been intense but extremely rewarding. Sooooo as submitting to the Lord and walking in faith not by sight has been required of me(for the last year).
Short version
About a year ago my heart was broken by someone very close to me, and I had to make an immediate choice…submit to the will of God and believe that nothing is out of HIS control, or walk away and break many hearts. The latter would have been my choice in the past. I did phone my friend and my Pastor who did encourage me to choose submission to God. Many were the advice of others to walk away. During my quiet time I cried to the LORD, and made the choice to follow HIM, even if HE slay me. ( I kind of felt dead already) The LORD spoke so very clearly to me that morning, “do not compromise ME, do not compromise other hearts”. Submission, do things God’s way. My heart healed in record time and everyone involved in my heart break has been brought closer to the LORD. It truly isn’t about me, and it is all about HIM. How can I not forgive after all I have been forgiven? This was the first intense lesson of submission to the LORD.
Lesson #2
For about two years I have entertained a thought about driving a school bus…this thought has been absurd to me! But again the LORD nudged me and asked if I believe HIM and if I would be obedient. I tried to disregard this whole bus thing, as my head just being difficult, and that it is totally crazy! I cannot drive a bus, and my learning days are about in…things come a lot slower than they use to. I found myself applying for bus job, not knowing anything about how or what. They sent me to the class to learn the book end of things…and also the behind the wheel training….what a faith walk!! I was and still am holding on to HIM with both hands(realizing that is right where HE loves me to be). Everyday I got out of the bus and was elated with HIS presence, I know that HE was in that bus, and although there was an instructor, HE was teaching. I just passed my CDL knowledge tests, on the first try, four tests. Jesus definitely walked into the test with me, and I believe HE gave me all the answers. Although it has been stressful for me, it was silly to get all worked up, HE always has a plan and HE is always in control.
Don’t know what HIS plan is, or why HE wants me to have this license to drive heavy equipment, the yellow bus does not match my color schemes very well. But I wouldn’t have missed being with HIM for the world. This whole life is about relationship with Jesus, and the deeper I go, the more I understand David saying…”taste and see”…This last year I have seen the whole earth filled with HIS glory…and critical lessons of submission, making the right choice, and walking in faith as an honor and a gift from my KING to come closer to HIM. And the praise will flow from my lips, because I know HE is good, and I know HE is right here with me always, and I know HIS way is best! No one can love us like Jesus, No one can fill our needs like Jesus, every little thing we need, HE has it, and does not grow tired of us. HE is totally in love with us! Hard not to fall in love with HIM, huh?
ponderings of a princess... 